Showing posts with label train. Show all posts
Showing posts with label train. Show all posts

Friday, 28 August 2020

No.223 : The Gambler (1980)



It’s quite common to have hit songs come from a film, but it’s less usual to have a film made around a hit song. Such is the case here in our third ‘The Gambler’ offering in short order. Dare you place a wager as to which is best? Clue : It’s not this one!

In doing my usual exhaustive research I was surprised to learn that this was the first of five films in ‘The Gambler’ franchise. All were TV movies and each starred Kenny Rogers as the wily and wise card player, Brady Hawkes.

The film sets its stall out early doors with ‘The Gambler’ predictably playing over the titles. Kenny was 42 when this came out so he’s clearly meant to be the one doling out the advice rather than the one asking for it. That said maybe he’s the non-dead one in the song, now grown up.

Anyway, Kenny rides his horse slowly into town and makes his way to the station waiting room which could not look more like a set if it had ‘This is a set’ written all over it. We’ve already met young card sharp Billy Montana who has tried and failed to pick up a single lady with his tales of his journey to a big poker tournament in San Francisco. He takes on and beats a couple of poker players who accuse him of cheating and who draw guns on him. Fortunately Kenny has arrived and exposes them as cheats and sends them on their way. He also notes that Billy was cheating too, but he was better at it than his marks.

Kenny enlists the lady to deal the cards and he gives Billy a lesson in five card stud. At no point does anyone swear or stab anyone and you just know we’re in the version of old west, where values remain strong and no one says ‘motherfucker’. With the wisdom now extolled, the long awaited train is ready to leave now that the rich owner has arrived. We also learn that Kenny is on a mission, no not to sell chicken but to answer a letter. We hear it read out by a young lad who claims Kenny is his Dad - rubbish he doesn’t even have a beard. He says his mother kept him a secret, so that we know Kenny isn’t a bastard, but now they need help.

The son’s mother has a Mrs Skywalker relationship with his step-father and can’t escape his evil clutches, but the boy gets away and meets up with Kenny on the train. Meanwhile the rich railroad owner has set up a $10k a head card game involving Kenny, Montana and a hired card sharp, The Doc. Soon the hangers on are eliminated and it’s down to the last hand. Can Kenny win and will he outsmart the boy’s father’s henchmen who lie in wait? Can the boy escape his servitude and will Kenny gets some more homilies in before the credits roll? Yes to everything!

This would fall strictly into the ‘does what it says on the tin’ file and you would be hard pressed to find fault in this gentle offering. Let’s try anyway. Rodgers is no actor and tends to mistake talking slowly for wisdom. He hobbles about on a stick but is as fast a cheetah when chucking folk out of windows or over bars. Hope the DSS are watching.

Everyone listens with rapt attention when Kenny starts giving out his wise words, including a long conversation with the lady who turns out to be a reformed whore. Kenny tells her that’s all good and she’s very grateful to him. Not that grateful though.

The poker scenes were decent with a king high losing to a pair of fours in one hand of five card stud. It did all fall apart in the last hand however, when Kenny starts to shove in the chips despite facing three aces with a card to come. ‘That’s way they call it gambling’ he says wisely - no Kenny, that’s what they call suicidal bankroll management.

Bruce Boxleitner was likeable as Montana, but I doubt he’d last five minutes in the real old west. That said, Kenny’s large ass would be hung out to dry as soon as he took on three gringos with his stick, so there is an element of disbelief being suspended throughout.

You could show this one to your granny if she was OK with talk about whores and unlikely straight flushes. Right onto the sequels for me.

That was a bluff!

THE Tag Line : You Gotta Know When to Watch ‘Em and When Not to Bother 57%



Sunday, 17 February 2019

No. 135 : The Commuter (2018)



Liam Neeson takes time off from his busy schedule of looking for black people to beat up to make this routine, but decent thriller. If you have seen his ‘Die Hard on a plane’ thriller ’Non Stop’ you’ve pretty much seen this, as it is the same script with ‘plane’ cleverly changed to ‘train’.

Neeson plays the titular commuter and the opening credits show him making the same commute into New York through all weathers in a variety of jackets. Neeson does stretch himself with the part however, with his character being an Irish man who lives in America. He has range, you have to give him that.

He lives with his wife and teenage son and his quirk is that he reads old books to help his offspring with his schoolwork. This leads to him showing the odd bit of literary insight and something to talk about with fellow commuter, Mike out of ‘Breaking Bad’. It’s a shame Mike didn’t have a bigger part but seemingly he had a bus to catch.

The action all takes place over one day and on one train ride, so if you are looking for car chases and sex scenes this is not the film for you. Before he boards the fateful train we see Neeson sell insurance to a young couple and he reveals he lost everything in the credit crunch. He has only five years until retirement (must have had a tough paper round) and should have enough money to squeeze by if everything goes OK. Almost immediately he is pulled into the manager’s office and given the boot as he costs more than he brings in. Nice to see there’s none of that HR nonsense about giving people a warning and due process etc.

He heads to the pub where he meets former police partner Patrick Wilson and police chief Sam Neill. Wilson comes across nice and Neill a dick. Bet those positions are set in stone! After stiffing Wilson with the bar bill he heads home. Surely his day can’t get any worse? Of course it does, but first the lovely Vera Farmiga shows up and starts chatting to Neeson. He thinks she’s trying to chat him up but in reality she’s offering him $100k for finding a bag, as you do.

Cash strapped Neeson smells a rat but pockets the £25k deposit and starts looking for the elusive bag holder. We then get a long period were we meet the various commuters such as douche bag Wall Street broker Clem Fandango and a weasely ticket inspector who was at least a bit of fun.

Slowly the number of suspects reduces as Neeson gets involved in a few fist fights and rampant vandalism - it was just like the last train to Paisley Canal! As the train approaches its final destination, and with Neeson’s family held hostage, will he get the bag and free his loved ones? Will the rail company refund his ticket due to excessive delays and will the police’s geriatric recruitment programme save the day?

This was a decent effort in the ‘We’ve got a few stars with 10 minute gaps in their diaries - let’s churn out something quick’ genre. Neeson paints by numbers in his portrayal of a man let down by the system trying to save his family. At no point to you have any sympathy for his situation as you wait for the next choreographed punch up. You have more sympathy for the fellow commuters who have a beer soaked Irish man shouting ‘What’s in your bag’ at them with annoying regularity.

Farmiga has about five minutes on screen and Wilson and Neill much the same. The supporting cast do OK with thinly written parts and it was fun to see Clem Fandango say something other that ‘Steven, can you hear me?’

The overall premise was ridiculous. The hunted bag belonged to a witness and the baddies wanted it back before it was delivered to the cops. Fair enough, but with their resources and eyes on everything overview you’d have thought relying on a troubled commuter would be the worst plan possible. Clearly they weren’t shy about some blood letting so why not just blow up the train rather than hope that Neeson will deliver?

The film ramps up in the last 20 minutes with a pretty decent crash that many CGI pixels gave their lives for, followed by a siege that wasn’t as tense as the director was hoping for. There was a funny take on ‘I’m Spartacus’ and then an after the fact sequence where we catch up with Neeson which although somewhat pat, at least it gave us some closure.

If you went into town on a train to see ‘The Commuter’ at the cinema you would have regretted paying for the off peak travel but as a find on Amazon Prime it was a decent offering that stayed on the rails for the most part.

THE Tag Line : Worst Train Ride Since Jimmy Savile
Rating : 64%