This is a 70 minute British horror/drama from 1960. It’s black and white and has few special effects or big set pieces to keep you entertained. Does it have enough to keep you interested, even for it’s short run time? I’m afraid it isn’t going to get a big hand from me.
The film opens with a caption stating ‘Burma 1946’, and we find the British fighting the Japanese in some really stirring stock footage. It’s not clear why they are still fighting a year after the war ended but I’ll be generous and say this is an alternative reality where the war lasted a bit longer rather than the caption man missed that day of school.
With the battle still raging we meet three British Prisoners of war. They are being interrogated by a terrible Japanese commandant. I say ‘terrible’ because he’s clearly a white guy with eye make up going a terrible oriental voice. He asks where the troops are based and says ‘Velly Unfortunate’ when they refuse to answer. A war crime that can never be forgiven.
He takes the men in turn and when the first two refuse to give away any details he lops their hands off with his big sword. He then asks the same question of the officer who is clearly made of weaker stuff. Before he spills the beans we dissolve to ‘London to-day’. Looks a bit of a pea souper out.
A beat officer finds a tramp in a doorway short of one hand but with £500 in his pocket. At the station they speculate how he got the cash and a neat surgical wound where his hand once was. Before they make any headway the tramp disappears from his bed and is soon found dead in the Thames.
The cops do some investigation and a train ticket leads them to a nursing home. The orderly remembers the operation which wasn’t recorded. The good doctor in charge found the vagrant at the roadside with an injured hand and amputated it to save his life. A likely tale! After some minor questioning the doctor shoots himself and leaves his nurse wife bereft. We also learn that his rich brother refused him a loan of £500. We learn that the tramp was paid £500 by the mysterious Mr Roberts for his hand and Dr Crenshaw did the operation.
A call to the home leads the police to the lodgings of a Mr Brodie who is later revealed to have a hook in place of his hand. We also meet Mr Adams who is similarly one down in the hand department.
Who is Mr Roberts and what is his fascination with all things five fingered? Hope it’s not the same one we had pegged for it at the start!
The detection angle was pretty good with a nice logical flow of events. It was a bit unlikely in places and the bad guy’s motivation wasn’t too clear apart from him being a nutter, due to the war and that.
I found this film a bit confusing. There were two Brodies, two Crenshaws and two
Adamses - add in all the false names and ageing make up and you can see where it’s easy to go wrong. The actors all look alike and I’m not even sure why the tramp lost his hand in the first place. I’m guessing the cowardly hand retainer wanted it to pretend that he too had lost a hand to the Japanese, but it’s hardly likely they’d have given him it to take home if he had! It didn’t help that ‘Adams’ Senior looked like Mark Williams off ‘The Fast Show’ - ‘Today I’m mostly having my hand chopped off’.
Of the cast I’d only heard of Ray Cooney and the film is clearly a ‘B Movie’ filler from the golden days of two mutilation films and a cone of chips for two bob.
The film was hovering about the fail line for me but a fantastic final scene, laden with irony, made it worth the watch. I choo-choo choose to give you your comeuppance!
THE Tag Line - The Caine One was Better! 56%
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