No. 253 : The Rapture (1991)

 

The Rapture at the IMDb

 

This is a strange offering that is part swinger party and part religious brainwashing. I’m not sure what the target audience was, but it would make for a pretty narrow demographic.

Mimi Rogers, who is excellent throughout, stars as Sharon, a bored phone operator who gets her thrills through having sex with random couples, along with her sleazy boyfriend. One of these couples includes David Duchovny, and the two start a relationship on the side.

Sharon is aware of some co-workers talking about God and seems to laugh it off, but one night at 3am she shoves David (who has the excellent character name ‘Randy’) out of bed as she needs to change the sheets. Well, we’ve all been there. She decides her whole life is dirty and she needs to find God.

 

We get other clues along the way that she may not be a total nut, such as a vision she has of a pearl, having first seen it on a swinger’s tattoo. She joins a religious sect centred around ‘The Boy’, a wise child who tells them that God will be back in five or six years. Kind of a loose arrangement, it would seem. Mimi is totally bought in at this stage even going so far as to offer religious direction to people ringing her for a phone number. She seeks out now former love Randy, who is also a lost soul, and the two get back together.

 

We jump forward six years and learn that God has yet to show up, but at least he told Randy to ditch the mullet. They all eagerly await the Rapture with the now teenage ‘The Boy’ telling them it’s this year for sure. Shouldn’t have used Evri for the delivery, I guess.

Tragedy strikes however, when Randy is killed in a workplace shooting, leaving Sharon alone with their annoying daughter. Randy's death only affirms Sharon's beliefs and she decides that her vision of Randy in a photoshop window is enough to send her to the desert to await the big moment.

 

Once again, God is delayed. I’m sure he must be at the baggage carousel by now. Sharon decides that she’ll speed things up by shooting her daughter, as you do. The once friendly policeman, who clearly needed better safeguarding training, arrests her and sticks her in a cell with another God botherer. Unfortunately, Sharon has given up on God as he let her shoot her own daughter – free will anyone?- so when the rapture does arrive, she’s not onboard.

The Rapture is a bit low rent with some horns and people on horses and more smoke than an 80's rock video. We do get overlaid hoofbeats and those who accept God are sent on their way with a mechanism somewhere between ‘Star Trek’ and Thanos. Sharon, who refuses to forgive the Almighty, is left in purgatory – will she proclaim her love for God or will she hang about in the dark for all eternity?

 

I quite enjoyed this film but I wasn’t totally buying Sharon who went from carefree slut to pious worshipper to then outright denier in the three acts. Her initial conversion seemed a bit urgent with little in the way of doubt seen before she decided that she was right and that everyone she’d previously scoffed were on the ball after all. Mimi was great although a bit more modest at first as she held the bedsheets tight to her chest in the bed scenes. Later on she was a bit more of her carefree self. I see this film was made around the time she split from Tom Cruise so maybe that was a factor. The film poster makes the production look like a sex romp, so no doubt there were a few disappointed cinema goers when this was released!

 

The whole endeavour was clearly low budget, but I liked the almost Ray Bradburyesque conspiracy with people muttering away about their visions in the background. It gave the film a sense of unease and I wasn't sure if we were going to find redemption or mental illness at the end. Believers were found in all sorts of places and it was fun when Sharon gets pulled in by her boss for God bothering the callers before he reveals he’s seen the light himself!

 

There are large portions of the film that seem like a recruitment video for the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Sharon was all over the place with her conflicted mental states. It was however a decent ride and offered a few questions, albeit with no real answers - if you want answers, I'd recommend 'This Is the End'.

 

THE Tag Line : Praise Be! 64%

No.56 : The Joneses (2009)

The Joneses at the IMDb

You have of course heard of the expression ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ well now you can watch the film version. What next? ‘Pot Calling the Kettle Black : The Smackdown’?

The film’s slight premise makes it almost as disposable as the consumerism message but if you like beautiful people showing off with a hit of morality to sweeten the deal ‘The Joneses’ may just be the thing for you.

The film opens with a yuppie couple, David Duchovny and Demi Moore, arriving at their new home with their two kids. Their house is swanky and their cars are delivered on a trailer. Their house has no expense spared with every gadget and aspirational gadget you could wish for. So far so American dream, but all is not as it seems.

The family are actually a group of actors who are placed in affluent communities to show off all the gadgets and accessories that people don’t realise they actually want or really need. It starts off quite low key with a dinner party for the neighbours but pretty soon Demi is flashing the dessert packaging and David is waving his new golf clubs under his buddies’ noses.

As you would expect cracks start to show and the frankly quite communist message of ‘stuff isn’t everything’ starts to creep in. A promo for cheap booze goes wrong when a girl gets hurt drunk driving and the Jones boy gets a slap for trying to kiss his jock buddy. The slutty daughter gets undone when her romance sours and the inevitable sexual tension between the two leads boils over.

Meanwhile the neighbours are buying all the crap they can to keep up with the Joneses and soon the debts start to build. As we reach the tragic climax our materialistic heroes have to winder if love can find a way and whether they can give up that frankly very nice Audi.

‘The Joneses’ is an OK sort of film but I bet those who enjoy it most will be the same people who run out to buy the earrings that Demi flaunts. People like nice stuff and although the anti-greed message is sledge hammered home you are still left wondering where David got that nice running top.

The two leads do quite well and although there isn’t a lot of chemistry between them that’s kind of the point. That is undone somewhat in the last ten minutes when you are expected to believe that they actually are in love and giving it all up for a chance of happiness.

Of the second string I liked Bill Lumbergh as the neighbour with the demanding wife. His desperation was a good counter point to the vapid lead characters although he could do with a bit of training on how to ride that lawn mower.

The central premise of the film that corporations put families in communities to sell their products seemed a bit flawed with their reach and cost seemingly untenable. I know people will tell you that it’s a parable and a commentary on our consumer society but you think Audi would sell more cars by, well, putting them in a movie where everyone says ‘That’s a nice car’ a lot.

The message is somewhat lost amid all the product placement but overall the film is worth a look but maybe only as a late night TV fix. Don’t go buying the DVD - that’s what they want you to do!

THE Tag Line : Needs a Hard Sell 61%