No.234 : The Freebie (2011)

 

The Freebie at the IMDb

Here we are with a strong contender for the worst Definite Article film of all! This was a ghastly effort that was predictable, dull and irritating in equal measures.

Starring Dax Shepard, whom we liked in ‘Employee of the Month’, this is an achingly trendy independent film that follows the emotional angst of a young couple, Annie and Darren. The two haven’t had sex in living memory and are worried that their relationship has lost its spark. At a dinner party, with their equally douche bag friends, they discuss being free and what it would be like to have sex with someone else and see a person, other than your partner, naked.

At this point I thought they were going to let each other have a freebie (the clue is in the title) and then their relationship would flounder over jealousy and recriminations. That is exactly what happened; but it was even worse - we were also treated to a good half hour of our unlikeable pair yelling at each other and name calling, before reconciling. 

After the agreement was reached the two head out on their respective quest for their hole and here were found the only bits of the film that were half decent. Both had been out of the dating game for some time and their clumsy manoeuvring was quite fun. Dax hooks up with a barista he’d flirted with and Annie takes a bar tender into the bogs.

Both get hot and heavy but it is left unclear whether either or both actually sealed the deal. Back at home jealousy takes over with  Dax being a total dick and calling Annie a slut. Hypocrite warning! The relationship starts to shatter and sobbing and name calling continue for far too long. Annie then says she didn’t go through with the dirty deed, but we don’t know if this is true or whether she is just trying to salvage the marriage which is frankly moribund already. As the film ends the pair are back together but can what has been done and said ever be forgotten?

This film played out like some pretentious actors’ workshop. It looked like it wasn’t scripted with them just yelling random stuff at each other. There was basically no plot either with the whole thing a tiresome examination of relationships and moral values. I could see some tosspots at a workshop musing over the characters’ motivations and problem people having a good old inward search as a result of being exposed to this effort.

The film used a non-linear narrative to throw clips of the nights out into the contemporaneous discussions of them. The idea here was to drip feed us ‘evidence’ but it just made the film a jumbled mess.

For me it was dull and predictable with the added ingredient of spending 77 minutes with unlikeable people with their first world, self-manufactured problems. I guess the motivation here was to ask the viewer ’what would you do?’ - easy response - Don’t watch this guff. 

The Tag Line : Don’t Watch This Guff!  12%

No.175 : The Bookshop (2017)

The Bookshop at the IMDb

You know those films with alien invasions, car chases and lots of sex and violence? Well, this isn’t one of those, although there is an awkward bit of hand holding at one point.

Emily Mortimer stars as Florence, a widow who dreams of opening a book shop in the village she grew up in. She finds a run down building and orders in some stock. So far so good, and she even nets a regular customer in the reclusive Bill Nighy, who is also on his own and in the need of some action. Book action.

But there are clouds on the horizon. Light fluffy clouds, but clouds no less. Evil Patricia Clarkson wants Florence’s building for her Art Centre and her dirty tricks to get it no know bounds. Well she opens a rival book shop and poaches Florence’s schoolgirl helper.

Will the bookshop prevail? Will the friendship will Bill go anywhere and does she have adequate fire insurance?

Clearly I’m not the target audience for this film, but it really was meandering pap. I get that it was gently paced with loneliness a big theme but I was just waiting for something to happen - anything.

At one point Florence invests in 250 copies of ‘Lolita’ but that didn’t go anywhere. We never saw the rival bookshop and James Lance’s miscast London arty type villain offered little and delivered less.

The film looked good and evoked a gentler time in 1950s East Anglia. The perils were minor and everyone was quite nice although they were all bastards underneath. I could have done without Julie Christie’s pretentious voice over and it was no surprise to learn which character she was - clue the only young female in the cast.

I don’t think we learned anything here and there were certainly no laughs or thrills. You could dress it up as a ’slice of life’, but it would be a dull and unconvincing life.

The cast was mostly decent with Bill Nighy doing his usual thing in a suit and Patricia Clarkson trying to channel Cruella DeVille. Mortimer does OK in the lead and is likeable but you never got the sense she was truly invested in the shop, and the ending kind of underscored that.

Over all this was an inoffensive bit of period drama but an instantly forgettable one - read a good book instead!

THE Tag Line : Don’t Book a Viewing   - 54%