No.234 : The Freebie (2011)

 

The Freebie at the IMDb

Here we are with a strong contender for the worst Definite Article film of all! This was a ghastly effort that was predictable, dull and irritating in equal measures.

Starring Dax Shepard, whom we liked in ‘Employee of the Month’, this is an achingly trendy independent film that follows the emotional angst of a young couple, Annie and Darren. The two haven’t had sex in living memory and are worried that their relationship has lost its spark. At a dinner party, with their equally douche bag friends, they discuss being free and what it would be like to have sex with someone else and see a person, other than your partner, naked.

At this point I thought they were going to let each other have a freebie (the clue is in the title) and then their relationship would flounder over jealousy and recriminations. That is exactly what happened; but it was even worse - we were also treated to a good half hour of our unlikeable pair yelling at each other and name calling, before reconciling. 

After the agreement was reached the two head out on their respective quest for their hole and here were found the only bits of the film that were half decent. Both had been out of the dating game for some time and their clumsy manoeuvring was quite fun. Dax hooks up with a barista he’d flirted with and Annie takes a bar tender into the bogs.

Both get hot and heavy but it is left unclear whether either or both actually sealed the deal. Back at home jealousy takes over with  Dax being a total dick and calling Annie a slut. Hypocrite warning! The relationship starts to shatter and sobbing and name calling continue for far too long. Annie then says she didn’t go through with the dirty deed, but we don’t know if this is true or whether she is just trying to salvage the marriage which is frankly moribund already. As the film ends the pair are back together but can what has been done and said ever be forgotten?

This film played out like some pretentious actors’ workshop. It looked like it wasn’t scripted with them just yelling random stuff at each other. There was basically no plot either with the whole thing a tiresome examination of relationships and moral values. I could see some tosspots at a workshop musing over the characters’ motivations and problem people having a good old inward search as a result of being exposed to this effort.

The film used a non-linear narrative to throw clips of the nights out into the contemporaneous discussions of them. The idea here was to drip feed us ‘evidence’ but it just made the film a jumbled mess.

For me it was dull and predictable with the added ingredient of spending 77 minutes with unlikeable people with their first world, self-manufactured problems. I guess the motivation here was to ask the viewer ’what would you do?’ - easy response - Don’t watch this guff. 

The Tag Line : Don’t Watch This Guff!  12%

No.203 : The Judge (2014)

The Judge at the IMDb

Alas this isn’t another film about Judge Dredd, but an overlong court room drama starting Robert Downey Jnr and Robert Duvall, who we recently saw in the more enjoyable The Outfit.

Downey plays Hank, a slick lawyer who will defend any client no matter how sleazy. He earns the big bucks and has a cute daughter, but his marriage has failed and he is estranged from his family. As a big case is about to close and just as Hank moves in for the kill, he gets a call to advise that his mother has died. The court adjourns and Hank heads back to his sleepy Indiana birthplace for the funeral.

He drives in a new truck, that looks for all the world as product placement, before meeting up with his two brothers, including a fat Vincent D’Onofrio, and his father Duvall, who was the town’s judge for 40 odd years. Hank has a drink and a squeeze with an attractive barmaid before meeting up with his old flame Vera Farmiga who you’ll know from ‘Up in the Air’. We learn that Hank went out to a concert one night and never came back, but fortunately Vera is most forgiving.

Hank gets a lift from Vera ,after falling off his bike, and he meets her daughter who just happens to be the barmaid he had kissyface with. She’s on break from law school and there is a brief suggestion that Hank may be her father.

Meanwhile damage is found to the front of Duvall’s car and he’s charged with killing a man by knocking him off his bike. It turns out the victim was a criminal whom Duvall had treated leniently but had gone onto kill a young girl. Duvall can’t remember the hit and run and is suffering from cancer and early onset dementia. Hank agrees to defend his Dad with the aid of Dax Shepard’s idiot lawyer, and they are soon up against Billy Bob Thornton, who has a score to settle against Hank.

Will the old man go down? Well what happens is…Objection! Watch it yourself or you can guess. You’ll probably get it right!

This was a decent effort but at 140 minutes it was too long. A lot of time was spend charting Duvall’s demise and to be honest I don’t need to see him shitting himself and getting showered down. It may have been a touching moment of weakness for a proud man, but I’d have been happy with a tell don’t show scenario here.

Hank’s journey was predictable as he started to see both sides of an argument to the extent that he was pondering taking over the judge’s chair at the end. The courtroom scenes were decent as the unbreakable case was slowly picked apart. There was too much of ’Objection your honour’ and too much latitude given when they started yelling out random stuff with the judge happy to see where it went.

The conclusion was balanced to some degree, with everyone winning but also losing, and with justice seeming to be served. Downey did his usual good show but if he donned the Iron Man armour half way though you wouldn’t be surprised. I could have done with more of Dax in his David Pleat suit, and it was a shame he didn’t get enough to do to earn ‘Employee of the Month’ this time around.
The will they won’t they love story didn’t go anywhere and the lovely Vera seemed a bit desperate.

There was some growth, some reconciliation and some redemption but alas too little editing. Trim an hour and you’d have a neat 90 minute drama rather than this meandering and bloated soap opera.

THE Tag Line : You are Judged to be Too Long!  67%