No. 256 : The End (2024)

 

The End at the IMDb

Here’s another film that I watched for my companion Michael Shannon Blog, but I thought my reader here shouldn’t be left out. The film was overlong and dull, which was a pity as the premise of a family surviving 20 years in a bunker following an environmental disaster sounded interesting, but I have to say I had my doubts when I read it was a musical.

 

The film is set wholly within the wealthy family’s bunker, which was created within a salt mine. The specifics of the disaster are kept somewhat vague, but it’s made pretty clear that Michael Shannon’s character ’Father’ was one of the instigators, given he used to control an oil company. This led to more alarm bells going off – will this be a parable about looking after the environment and pointing fingers at likely polluters? Yes, it is!

 

The film sets its stall out early on with the ‘Son’ character starting a tuneless song in which he’s soon joined with Shannon and ‘Mother’ (Tilda Swinton) together with Captain Darling as the Butler as well as a friend and a doctor. The ‘song’, as it was, was basically just a string of narrative set to a forgettable tune, sung by people who are clearly better actors than they are singers.

 

The son has lived his whole life in the bunker and knows only of the outside world what he learns from his family and their archive of press cuttings and books. Mother claims she used to be a ballerina and curates a large number of classic artworks.

 

Things bump along for a while before a teenage black girl is found in one of the bunker’s tunnels. The group initially try to scare her off but soon she is welcomed into the fold with her wide-eyed interest being the filter through which we can see this world. The film drags on for an interminable two and a half hours as they group carry out safety drills, preform plays, make animal noises and discuss how best to fart.

 

From an interesting premise the film is so dull and fails to be enlivened by the most forgettable set of songs you’ll ever hear. There is no reason why this is a musical, and the plot and character development isn’t helped by people launching into yet another song every ten minutes or so.

 

We learn slightly more about the characters as the film lists along and there is no surprise when the Son and the incomer girl start to bond. They are clearly the last vestige of hope in a shattered world, and we can only hope that their future adventures are undocumented.

 

I tried hard to like this film and stayed stoically to the end. I wasn’t rewarded with anything memorable however, and felt it was just like ‘Fallout’ with all the good elements stripped away by so many scavengers.

 

 

THE Tag Line : Thank God – It’s The End!  35%

No.229 : The Aftermath (1982)

 

The Aftermath at the IMDb

This would be an easy film to rip to shreds with its poor production values, terrible acting and shocking script but it was so rubbish that you can’t help but enjoy it.

We open in space with three astronauts returning fro a year long mission. They blame a radio malfunction for a lack of communication and possibly for one actor being on a different set than the other two. Their spaceship model judders along on its string as it makes the hazardous decent back to earth. They manage to crash in the sea, just outside of Los Angeles, the plan being lots of people will notice them and come out to help.

Sadly no one witnesses their spectacular crash landing which must have been a waste of the fifty pence spent on the special effects. One actor manages to escape the film by dying but the other two are separated as they swim towards the beach. Our hero, Newman, is first ashore and thinks he has found some help, but alas his sunbathers forgot the Factor 50 and are all burnt out corpses.

He soon ties up with injured comrade, Mathews, and the two set up a camp only to be attacked by some blokes in Halloween masks. As they fight them off we follow a parallel storyline which sees some brigands attack a group of clean looking survivors and kidnap the woman after killing the men and children. Their leader ‘Cutter’ likes to laugh diabolically and never misses a chance to do so. Meanwhile we learn the fate that has befallen mankind has led to an acute shortage of bras.

Our two astronauts, now shaved and in civilian clothes, split up and Newman stumbles into a museum where the curator gives out loads of exposition before expiring and leaving our hero in charge of a young boy, Chris. The two bond and soon meet up with the lovely Sarah whom we earlier saw escaping from Cutter’s busy hands. They carry out an attack on Cutter’s base and free a mother and her daughter and, for a while, a brave new start seems possible.

Alas, the production finds another vat of fake blood to spill to we are left to guess who will survive the film and will anyone in the whole exercise ever work again?

This was a gawd awful film with some of the poorest acting you’ll ever see. Different film stocks appear throughout - often in the same scene and characters fire shots in daylight that hit targets at night. The budget appears to have been blown on squibs and fake blood, as the sets, models and costumes are as poor as you will ever see.

The timeline doesn’t make any sense with the astronauts only a way a year yet the children have known nothing other than the poorly acted horror they inhabit. Pristine jeeps are abundant, but the city model is a burnt out shell. One big fight moves from the desert to the city rooftops which show no damage whatsoever.

Picking nits would be too easy however, in a film where you could pick out rhinos and still leave bigger stuff behind. 

The hero character ‘Newman’ was played by the same bloke who wrote the script and directed the film so it’s almost a proto ‘The Room’. The only minor talent on show is Sid Haig as the villainous Cutter who just laughs a lot and does some dry humping - a good way to easy fifty bucks I guess!

Not a film to recommend but if you have time to kill, find it on Amazon Prime for a few laughs and some outrageous bad behaviour!

THE Tagline : You’ll Be Lucky to Survive This!  52%