No. 258 : The Fence (2022)

 

The Fence at the IMDb

This one popped up on my trawl through Amazon Prime and I was surprised that it was so low profile. The film doesn’t have a Wikipedia page and just over 1000 ratings on IMDb. I gave it a go, and it was a decent slice of life. I doubt it will live long in the memory, but it was an engaging 90 minutes with plenty to like.

The film is set on a Bristol council estate in the 1980’s. You are never in doubt of when the film is set as the soundtrack is an 80s jukebox with Nik Kershaw and Adam Ant getting an airing alongside Kim Wilde and virtually every other act with big hair that you can think of.

We open with a young lad poaching fish and easily evading a Keystone Cops style policeman. He sells his catch for £2 so we know this isn’t exactly going to high end criminal antics. The lad, Steven, works at a butcher and gets a quick lesson in dipping the till from a colleague. Steven is happy to comply as he’s saving for a motorbike and is keen to slip a few quid to his Mum, Sally Phillips, despite a stereotypical deadbeat Dad trying to grab some cash for the pub.

Steven gets the cash for his motorbike and shows it off to friends and some impressed girls for about two minutes before it gets nicked. The remainder of the film is reminiscent of ‘Bicycle Thieves’ as Steven tries to get back his property.

In his quest he enlists the help of his older brother, who is on probation, and a friendly black man who gets some racial abuse but is the man to know for weapons and guns.

The trail soon leads to a dodgy family who supply drugs and motor parts – will Steven exact revenge for the theft of his motorbike or will he choose another path away from the endless cycle of beatings, retribution and time in jail?

I quite enjoyed this film, but it was certainly Shane Meadows-lite. The council scheme looked a bit polished, and all the players had immaculate 70’s clothes – the type that has the viewers saying, ‘I had that jacket’! The cars also were too pristine – everyone was driving a showroom quality 80’s classic. No doubt these were borrowed from some enthusiasts, but none of them looked appropriate for our mostly grubby cast.

David Perkins did OK in the lead, but I wasn’t really buying his moral quandaries, his outrage or his eventual decision when it was time to choose a path. Of the cast only Sally Phillips was a known face, with the rest probably recent stage school graduates where they honed their perfect, if unconvincing estate accents.

The setting were good and I liked how the film played over a few days in an idyllic summer, almost like the main character was recounting events from a rosier future.

The stakes were pretty low throughout and despite drugs, guns and beatings being the seeming norm, I never really felt the presence of a lot of threat or danger. It was an enjoyable film, but I wanted to like it more and it’s a pity that it fell short of its possibilities.

I would also say that the title ‘The Fence’ is poor and clearly a successful attempt to get on this blog. The fence in question is a receiver of stolen goods, but that player has a very small part in the overall dynamic of the film. The focus of the film is Steven and how the choices he makes will affect his future. The title should have been ‘Steven and the Cloneasaurus’.

THE Tag Line : Estate Mismanagement - 62%

No.144 : The House (2017)

The House at the IMDb

I found The House lurking on Amazon Prime and was surprised that I hadn’t heard of it before, given its decent cast and production values. Having watched it, I find that its relative anonymity is well deserved.

Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler play a married middle class couple with a teenage daughter. They are a bit hard up despite living in a house that would make Barbie blush, in a neighbourhood with no beggars or dog shit on the streets. Things are relative I guess and their main concern is that they can’t afford to send their dull daughter to college.

Things should be OK though, as their daughter is the favourite to get a free college scholarship from the local town council. Guess they are the most needy after all! The rug is pulled however when the sleazy town councilman reveals that the sponsorship has been cancelled to pay for the new town pool. We later learn that he is stealing the cash to finance his affair with his well seated colleague, but more of that later.

Our happy couple try various ways to get the college money but after failing to get pay rises and loans they have no option but to try and gamble their meagre funds up, using the expertise of their gambling friend, Frank. The fact that Frank’s house lacks any furniture and his wife is leaving him doesn’t raise any red flags, so they head off to Vegas. After a great winning spell, sponsored by the Wynn Hotel, they lose the lot and are resigned to having the daughter hanging about the house for the next three years. But wait! There’s always breaking the law!

With indecent haste (well it is a 88 minute film), they set up a casino in Frank’s house. Things are small scale for about five minutes, but before long it’s a massive operation with neon lights, topless dancers and headline acts. Will the operation last long enough to raise the required funds? Will the corrupt councilman or the local mob get the cash or will truth and justice prevail and they all go to jail?

I was set up to really hate this film as it had all the hallmarks of a lazy cash in with blank spots in various stars’ diaries blocked out for a couple of weeks for an easy payday. As it was, I only slightly disliked it and there was the odd laugh - albeit cheap and shameful ones.

Ferrell and Poehler play off well together and they are wise not to bother with acting - you want them as you know them and that’s what you get. Poehler is done a disservice by the wardrobe department as they have her running about in baggy, unflattering shorts, as well as by the script which only gave her one good line about a Giant’s dick. Ferrell gets most of the funny stuff and despite doing his usual hapless idiot bit he has a few decent scenes, especially as ‘The Butcher’.

There are a lot of familiar faces thrown in for your money including a congressman off ‘Veep’ and David Wallace off ‘The Office’, who was criminally underused.

The plot, as it is, hits its marks from A to B to C with the minimum of fuss, with the predictable loss of the takings getting sorted out in about five minutes. ‘The villain’ of the corrupt politician was no threat at all and the film lacked any sense of danger. To have him as a whiny idiot with a fat fetish was a mistake as the outcome was never in doubt with him as the opposition.

The morals of the film are pretty low with drugs and gambling being celebrated along with the beating up of women, murder, illegal dice games etc. I thought there would be a moral lesson at the end but no - get your money however you can, and screw the consequences. I was fine with this but the film felt uneven with lots of things thrown at the wall with only a few of them sticking. For example in a two minute sequence there were nods to ‘The Terminator’ and ‘The Six Million Dollar man’ - apropos of nothing whatsoever.

There were a couple of chuckles and surprises though, and I especially liked Jeremy Renner showing up as a mob hit man who really should have stayed at home.

All in all this was a decent distraction but I wouldn’t be doubling down on any sequel.

THE Tagline - A Busted Flush! 62%

No.63 : The Paperboy (2012)

The Paperboy on IMDb

Video games have rarely provided fertile ground for moviemakers but I have to say I was excited by the prospect of this 80’s classic coming to the silver screen. Alas they decided to do away with the whole notion of delivering papers and avoiding swarms of bees in favour of having a murder mystery in the 1960s.

We open with a present day Macy Gray talking to a reporter. The reporter is interested in events from 1969 which evolved around a celebrated murder case which has recently resurfaced due to a new book. After this brief preamble we are transported back in time to see events unfold with Macy’s voice occasionally appearing to explain stuff that isn’t clear from the script or direction.

Matthew McConaughey is a Miami newspaper reporter who along with his black writing parter and brother, Zac Efron, are sniffing about a murder case that sees a man on death row. The murder victim was the local racist sheriff and they wonder if the case is sound. They are soon joined by trailer trash Nicole Kidman who is convinced of the man’s innocence and who has done her own research which mainly consisted of sending him smutty letters.

The happy troupe seem to enjoy unlimited access to the murderer, who is played with twitchy mania by John Cusack. Early visits don’t go well with the two would be lovers spending their time getting off as Nicole displays her pink panties. For unclear reasons Zac falls in love with Nicole while the two reporters start to fall out.

In the sultry heat we learn that they all have secrets and agendas but soon the case begins to unravel with the flimsy new evidence springing Cusack who wastes no time in making good on his dirty talk with Nicole. With all our protagonists lacking something they want, or regretting not being careful about what they wished for, we have to see if anyone will get a happy ending.

This is a strange sort of film. It opens like it’s going to be about crusading journalism set against the racial tensions of the south, but it plays out as a bunch of big names overacting while raiding the dressing up box.

The main question is one of motivation - why is anyone doing anything that they set out to do? Redneck scumbag Cusack may be innocent, and of course the crusading journalist can’t walk away just because he jerks off a lot, but couldn’t they find a more worthwhile cause? Trashy Nicole is clearly shown to be a victim herself but her attraction to Cusack doesn’t convince. Their ‘love’ scene is as grubby as you get although it does beggar belief that a death row inmate won’t even take off his lady’s bra once he is sprung.

Zac tries hard to look lovelorn, but the clearly nuts Nicole doesn’t merit his attentions and Matthew’s character arc, that sees him go from campaigning journalist to Captain Hook in five minutes, is patently ridiculous.

The acting is uniformly awful with Macy Gray possibly the worst as the downtrodden housemaid who later recollects the tale. It is close though, with several career worst showings in place.

There are some things to like however. The sweaty and humid setting is great and although it doesn’t quite match ‘Body Heat’ you do feel like a cold shower afterwards. That may be down to some of the scenes however which see a masturbation contest, Nicole pissing on Zac after a jellyfish sting, Matthew on the bog and rough sex involving a twin tub washing machine.

For its earnest subject matter the dialogue was all over the place as were the accents. “If anyone’s gonna piss on him I will” cries Nicole as she remembers she used to get Oscar nods.

It was quite fun, but not in the way that was intended, which in many ways makes it more of a pleasure.

THE Tag Line : Fails to Deliver 62%

No.46 : The Accused (1988)

The Accused at the IMDb

I’m not a big fan of court room films, ‘Witness for the Prosecution’ notwithstanding. Like many sports films and any old ‘triumph against adversity’ gubbins the end is a foregone conclusion. There has been a slight renaissance with some sports movies like ‘Coach Carter’ and the ‘Bad News Bears’ remake where the big twist was that they lost but they also ‘win’ - but court room films don’t have that option. Either the bad guy gets banged up or he walks - no middle ground. Unless he walks and gets shot on the way out the court or he gets off on appeal off camera.

Yeah I know you’ve got the ‘Mockingbird’ defence and while that was a great film and the good guy lost at least it taught us innocent kids a bit about the realities of life.

Anyway ‘The Accused’ is a decent enough court room drama that is helped by only the last few minutes taking place in a court room. You still get the emotive speeches and pleas to the jury but at least you get a little bit of investigation along the way. Jodie Foster plays a trailer trash waitress, Sarah, who gets gang raped by three men on a pinball table while some jeering louts and a sensitive video game player look on.

After a pretty blow by blow account of the hospital forensic tests the three rapists get fingered and are put on trial. Fearing that her main witness was drunk and a bit slutty the DA, played by the woman out of ‘Top Gun’, plea bargains the rape charge down to reckless endangerment, much to the disgust of her client. Feeling a bit guilty herself Top Gun woman goes after the jeering mob in a hope of atoning for doing her job.

After a lucky break on the Pac-Man machine she traces the sensitive video games player who agrees to testify despite the pressure of his rapist friends. The trial is set and the lawyers have their show stopper speeches ready. Will the fragile waitress get the justice she craves or will the baying mob of louts walk free? It’s the first one!

I quite enjoyed ‘The Accused’ despite its obvious agenda and total lack of strong believable male characters. There’s no doubt that the case as presented was horrendous and brutal but the men were all such stereotype red necks and frat boys that it made the whole thing seem unbelievable. I’m pretty sure in the real case, on which the film was based, the drunken mob didn’t come up with catchy chants.

Foster was great as Sarah and really pulled off the tough and sexy yet fragile and vulnerable waitress. She rightly got an Oscar for her performance which must have been harrowing given the violent and humiliating subject matter. Top Gun woman was less good as the hard as nails, but has now learned a valuable lesson, DA.

I like the way the film showed various viewpoints of the unseen events before we saw the actual crime in the last half hour. I don’t know if this was a late addition as lots of the court room testimony later referred to was missing. It certainly made the film more real and had a lot more impact than another 30 minutes of court room drama.

The best scene for me was Sarah shopping for tapes when she encounters the most loathsome man you’ll ever see. Think of a male version of the landlady out of ‘Kingpin’ - certainly one worth losing your no claims bonus over.

This is the kind of film you can’t really enjoy. The grim subject matter and the foregoing conclusion rob it of any real thrill or drama and the scenes at the end where they’re all having a good laugh at the outcome don’t sit right. A worthy film definitely, but a watchable one? The jury’s out.

THE Tag Line : Accused of Being Grim & Predictable 62 %

No.23 : The Net (1995)

The Net at the IMDb

In 1995 I thought the internet was a fishermen’s conference and hotmail was some kind of letter bomb, so it’s hard to be harsh on ‘The Net’ which has dated badly but must have seemed a cautionary tale when released.

Sandra Bullock plays an unlikely stay at home computer programmer. She orders pizzas off the net and talks to anonymous web friends rather than go out on dates. She shares viruses with her chums but her life falls apart when she gets sent one that enables the user to control any system on the internet.

Her net pal agrees to fly down to see her, but when his navigation system gets hacked he gets fried. Sandra meanwhile, thinking she’s been stood up, heads off on a trip to Mexico where she meets Jeremy Northam who seems like a tit from the off. Sandra is however impressed by his hard drive and soon they’re bumping uglies. But wait! We’ve seen him root through her bag for her copy of the ‘Mozart’s Ghost’ programme which may well take over the world.

After finding out about the nefarious schemes of her lover Sandra escapes only to crash the getaway dingy knocking herself unconscious. As you’d expect she wakes up in a convent full of nuns who don't even bother to question her over the computer discs and her captor’s fat wallet that she's clinging on to. Sandra knows things are awry however when she learns form the US embassy that her name has been changed on her drivers’ licence. Things get worse back home when she learns that her identity has been erased and she’s been granted a new skanky one complete with prostitution convictions.

Using the only friend she can trust (and discard) Sandra, sorry Ruth..er Angela? Starts to fight back using the only weapon she knows - yes computers. That’s right they can be used for good as well as evil. Got that, it’s a lesson in not trusting technology but for utilising it for your own means. A bit like the bad guy did, only nicer.

I never saw this film on release but having now done so I’m sure I’d still have found it a bit far fetched. As in all compuer films any problem can be solved in a couple of key strokes whereas in real life the bad guy would close in and you’d realise that everything you’ve written is in CAPS LOCK.

The film opens with a few clumsy pointers that we are getting too reliant on computers. Sandra has a lonely life watching her screens with her food downloaded and even the FedEx man wielding his scanner like a light sabre. It doesn’t take long for things to be torn down and it’s pretty clear where Sandra’s character arc is going to take her.

I wasn’t totally convinced by her programming talk and she types even more slowly than me! She does however look good in a bikini so I’m glad she got the role over some fat real life computer nerd. Jeremy Northam, who later starts in his own cyber thriller ‘Cypher’ is a pretty weak bad guy and has no real menace. His angry rages come across as hissy fits and he is at least Sandra’s equal when it comes to computer skills.

The paranoia element of the big brother system controlling our lives was better realised in films like ‘Enemy of the State’ and even ‘Die hard 4.0’ but you have to remember that this was made when an Atari 2600 was seen as space age technology.

The web-fu on show was OK and probably science fiction at the time. Some elements like the hackers FedExing each other floppy discs certainly date the film but as a historical oddity it’s quite good fun although the promised elements of danger and excitement are never really realised.

THE Tag Line : Net Deficit 62%

No.14 : The Enforcer (1976)

The Enforcer at the IMDb

This is the middle film of Clint Eastwood’s five outings as ‘Dirty’ Harry Callaghan, the no-nonsense San Francisco police inspector, and is easily the bloodiest. In short it’s the Tyne Daly one that ends at Alcatraz.

The film opens in pretty low key fashion with a foxy chick luring two city workers to their deaths at the hands of her blonde, blue eyed boyfriend. Meanwhile Harry is doing what he does best by shooting the asses off a gang of liquor store robbers. ‘I wanna come in and talk’ says Harry and is invited in by the gang who clearly missed the first two movies. After Harry turns the store into a drive thru he gets his customary dressing down from his by the book boss. It’s only a cliché because Clint started it!

With him transferred off homicide Harry starts his new role in personnel even though “personnel is for ass holes”. After some glorious PC bashing with a ‘Ms.’ from the mayor’s office, in a scene that is a bit too broad for my taste, Harry is teamed up with Tyne Daly’s fresh faced new recruit after his partner get knifed by the creeps we saw at the start. It turns out that they are a bunch of ex-hookers and Vietnam vet revolutionaries who have raided the arms depot and want $1 million - well that was a lot of money then.

There are a few scenes where Daly struggles to be accepted in the man’s world and we’re pretty sure she’ll turn out all right. Some of these, the autopsy one for a start, seemed a bit contrived as did the captain telling her to be quiet when we all knew she had the juicy info to impart. The bad guys make their first mistake when they send a man in floppy hat to bomb the police station and after an overlong chase to an overbearing jazz soundtrack they get their man by way of a porno shoot.

Harry’s investigation is derailed by an ambitious mayor who is soon undone himself when the revolutionaries take him hostage. With Harry on suspension and the mayor locked up in Alcatraz the ransom due there’s just time for the .44 to be reloaded and for Tyne to get her life insurance up to date.

This is a film of its age and it’s hard to criticise things that were fine then and seem strange now. The portrayals of woman and ethnic minorities are almost charming in their sexist and racial naivety. It’s plainly signposted that Daly is going to come good despite her various faux pas and once she bonds with Harry you know the writing’s on the wall.

The white revolutionaries are poorly drawn and are off the screen too long in the first hour. By the time we see them plotting to kidnap the mayor we’ve almost forgotten they exist amid all the inter departmental bickering. The lead bad guy does a reasonable crazy stare but he’s certainly no Scorpio out of ‘Dirty Harry’ and barely a David Soul out of ‘Magnum Force’.

Some of the action is OK but it’s only the scenes at Alcatraz that take this away from run of the mill fare. The best parts are Harry’s run ins with his superiors but by now in the third film it is getting a bit samey. Harry is stuck off the force for a record short period with the ink barely dry on his suspension before they go crawling back.

The anti-liberal theme is fine, and really what you’d expect when you watch a ‘Dirty Harry’, but when the agitators are all a bunch of dumb clucks it makes it less satisfying when Clint makes his day. It is still quite an enjoyable film with a few classic ‘Harry’ moments but for the most part this film is largely superfluous and not a patch on the original.

THE Tag Line : Harry Rotter 62%