No.236 : The Overnight (2015)

First world problems now, as four yuppies spend a night worrying about their genitals and whether the bottle of wine they’ve brought is an acceptable gift.

Adam Scott and her off ’Orange is the New Black’ star as Alex and Emily, a Seattle couple who have recently moved to L.A. with their young son. They are having trouble with their sex life due to their kid bursting in at the wrong moment and for reasons that are explored later on.

They have had trouble making friends in their first two week as Angelinos, but things look up when they are approached by Jason Schwartzman after his and their kids start playing together. Jason seems a bit of a douche but they agree to go over to his later for a playdate with their kids and so the adults can enjoy some pizza - and a night they’ll never forget!

Things start out OK,  but gradually get stranger as Jason shows off his ‘butthole’ paintings and his wife’s hit breast feeding video. The hipster couple notice some reticence on the part of Alex and Emily when they refuse to go skinny dipping with them, especially when exposed to Jason’s extra large, and clearly fake dong. Alex admits he has a small penis and is ashamed of it. After some illicit substances and a pep talk from Jason he bares all and the couples get closer and closer.

How will the long night end and what will we learn about those involved?

This was an enjoyable if somewhat slight film that was shot over 12 days and takes place almost exclusively in a fancy L.A. house. There are no big set pieces or special effects and it is basically the four characters hitting off each other and gradually giving more and more away. I liked the slow burn with the breast feeding DVD the first inkling that things may not be as mundane as we initially thought.

The skinny dipping scene was funny, but they shouldn’t have used such obviously fake cocks as that took us straight out of any reality the film had earned. I’d imagine the two name actors wanted it to be clear and obvious that the tackle on display was not theirs.

There were a couple of laughs though, and not too much focus on relationships, which was a relief. I liked how the weirdness of the L.A. couple was just taken as a given with each outrageous revelation being met with barely a shrug.

The ending was somewhat unexpected and quite brave given what had gone before. Our uptight heroes did unwind very quickly but I guess a mixture of space cake and built up repression will do that for you.

Overall an enjoyable ensemble piece with good performances and a funny script that zinged along, without too many life lessons being offered.

THE Tag Line : Rubber Chicken? No, It’s a Cock  67%

No.203 : The Judge (2014)

The Judge at the IMDb

Alas this isn’t another film about Judge Dredd, but an overlong court room drama starting Robert Downey Jnr and Robert Duvall, who we recently saw in the more enjoyable The Outfit.

Downey plays Hank, a slick lawyer who will defend any client no matter how sleazy. He earns the big bucks and has a cute daughter, but his marriage has failed and he is estranged from his family. As a big case is about to close and just as Hank moves in for the kill, he gets a call to advise that his mother has died. The court adjourns and Hank heads back to his sleepy Indiana birthplace for the funeral.

He drives in a new truck, that looks for all the world as product placement, before meeting up with his two brothers, including a fat Vincent D’Onofrio, and his father Duvall, who was the town’s judge for 40 odd years. Hank has a drink and a squeeze with an attractive barmaid before meeting up with his old flame Vera Farmiga who you’ll know from ‘Up in the Air’. We learn that Hank went out to a concert one night and never came back, but fortunately Vera is most forgiving.

Hank gets a lift from Vera ,after falling off his bike, and he meets her daughter who just happens to be the barmaid he had kissyface with. She’s on break from law school and there is a brief suggestion that Hank may be her father.

Meanwhile damage is found to the front of Duvall’s car and he’s charged with killing a man by knocking him off his bike. It turns out the victim was a criminal whom Duvall had treated leniently but had gone onto kill a young girl. Duvall can’t remember the hit and run and is suffering from cancer and early onset dementia. Hank agrees to defend his Dad with the aid of Dax Shepard’s idiot lawyer, and they are soon up against Billy Bob Thornton, who has a score to settle against Hank.

Will the old man go down? Well what happens is…Objection! Watch it yourself or you can guess. You’ll probably get it right!

This was a decent effort but at 140 minutes it was too long. A lot of time was spend charting Duvall’s demise and to be honest I don’t need to see him shitting himself and getting showered down. It may have been a touching moment of weakness for a proud man, but I’d have been happy with a tell don’t show scenario here.

Hank’s journey was predictable as he started to see both sides of an argument to the extent that he was pondering taking over the judge’s chair at the end. The courtroom scenes were decent as the unbreakable case was slowly picked apart. There was too much of ’Objection your honour’ and too much latitude given when they started yelling out random stuff with the judge happy to see where it went.

The conclusion was balanced to some degree, with everyone winning but also losing, and with justice seeming to be served. Downey did his usual good show but if he donned the Iron Man armour half way though you wouldn’t be surprised. I could have done with more of Dax in his David Pleat suit, and it was a shame he didn’t get enough to do to earn ‘Employee of the Month’ this time around.
The will they won’t they love story didn’t go anywhere and the lovely Vera seemed a bit desperate.

There was some growth, some reconciliation and some redemption but alas too little editing. Trim an hour and you’d have a neat 90 minute drama rather than this meandering and bloated soap opera.

THE Tag Line : You are Judged to be Too Long!  67%

No.168 : The Stranger (1946)

The Stranger at the IMDb

Post war melodrama now in this 1946 effort starring and directed by Orson Welles, before be was over inflated.

The war has just ended and Edward G Robinson is on the trail of escaped Nazis - presumably the ones who didn’t have much to offer the rocket programme in the US. Bit of politics there.

They want the big fish in the shape of Franz Kindler, but no one knows what he looks like - all they have is that he likes clocks. No clocks. Remember that for later. They suspect that there is a secret network of Nazis on the go, so they let one go in the hope that he will lead them to the head goose-stepper. Of course he does, and Robinson is soon in the small town of Harper Connecticut with a list of likely candidates.

He crosses off those he has dismissed and is close to dong the same with Welles’ ‘Charles Rankin’ but has a second look when he remembers that Welles described Karl Marx as a Jew rather than a German. Welles has gotten his feet under the table and is soon to marry local lovely Loretta Young. He also has a job in fixing the town clock - what a giveaway!

He manages to stretch things out for a while after killing off the Nazi from the start, who was a terrible actor in any event. He also has to off an overly curious dog - damn efficient these Germans. Welles keeps his soppy fiancé onside, but soon even she is having a hard time believing that he’s not a friend of Hitler.

As the net closes in Robinson meets his quarry in the clock tower - will the sausage eater get his just desserts and is some overly poetic justice on the cards?

This was a decent romp but apart from a hilarious ending it was pretty much as you’d expect. Welles is poor as the Nazi on the run and makes no attempt at an accent. Fair enough the Boshe would have masked his accent but Welles is more Bostonian than Bavarian. He does well smooth talking his gullible lady and the idiotic townsfolk, but he’s no match for the no-nonsense Robinson who has his man clocked from the off.

The cat and mouse is pretty poor with it broadcast from the start that a big showdown at the end is inevitable. The clues about pipes and clocks were telegraphed throughout and although the ending was no surprise, it’s manner was. I won’t spoil it, but you’ll guess when you see that this small town has a massive automatic clock, complete with life sized mannequins armed with swords.

The film does include footage from the concentration camps and for 1946 it is quite full on. The message is clear as Robinson shows the films to the disbelieving fiancé that these things are real and that justice needs to be served.

Fair play to Welles for being the villain but he could have done more with the character. I can see why they made him likeable and more handsome than Robinson, but I don’t doubt folks would have been cheering fro the wrong guy at then end on the basis of his straighter jaw line and nicer manners.
Overall the film is an interesting record of the mood of the nation straight after the war - the Nazis should face justice and if it’s mad clockwork justice, then all the better!

THE Tag Line Stranger Danger! 67%

No. 146 : The Joker (2014)

The Joker at the IMDb

No, no , not the recent Joaquin Phoenix film ‘Joker’. That lacks the definitive article and is frankly a bit too popular for this blog.

I found ‘The Joker’ on Amazon Prime and watched it in all innocence. It was only afterwards, when I did my always thorough research, that I found out the film was originally called ‘Poker Night’ and presumably rebadged to cash in on the ‘Joker’ film. Having seen ‘Poker Night’ er, ‘The Joker’ I have to say ‘Poker Night’ is the better title given that it centres around a poker night, ‘joker’ is never mentioned, even in the playing card context, and even the clown make up seen in the poster above doesn’t actually appear in the film. Still cash ins are nothing new and it may be that the film will stand up on it’s own merits. Not a promising start though!

The film has a non-linear narrative with the predictable first shot of our hero, Detective Stan Jeter, who is played by a guy whose previous biggest credit was ‘Scary Movie 3, covered in blood and being surrounded by cops as he lies on the ground. ‘Let me tell you how I got here’ he says to no one asking the question.

We pull back and learn that Jeter is a newly promoted Detective. He cracked a big case and, given his new role, has been invited along to the detective only poker game by his mentor, Hellboy himself Ron Perlman. This is some poker game as it also includes Gus Fring, the boy friend out of ‘Drop Dead Fred’ and the guy off  ‘Bosch’, which I haven’t seen. The cops all spend their time giving the rookie the wealth of their experience by way of reminiscing about their best cases and arrests. These sequences are well done as the scene dissolves to show the adventure with Jeter transported into the action as the teller of the tale narrates.

Our hero manages to get himself kidnapped after he leaves the poker game and spends much of the film trapped in the bad guy’s basement. At this point we have only heard one of the detectives’ stories but we hear the rest as our hero drifts in and out of delirium and remembers them in the hope finding a way out of his predicament. Also held captive is Jeter’s young girlfriend and we have doubts over his integrity, given his relationship with her and about what we learn of his career making bust.

After several near escapes and messy interventions by well meaning, but totally hopeless, would be helpers we have to wonder, can our man get out?, who is the bad guy? and how many more films can be ripped off, er, homaged?

Despite a lot reasons not to, I quite enjoyed this film. For a start the cast was good. Say what you like, but a few familiar ’B’ list faces always keeps your interested, especially if a grisly fate awaits them. That said, the lead lacked any kind of empathy and failed to get much of a reaction from me, even when he was peeling his superglued face off a wall. 

The plot was basically lifted wholesale from the ’Saw’ films but that’s not to say they didn’t also steal from loads of others as well, such as ’V for Vendetta’,  the Nolan Batmen and that James McAvoy one where he gets superpowers.

The narrative jumped all over the place but the editing was good enough that you could keep up. There was a lot of exposition voiceover dialogue added in however ,so maybe that’s how I kept on the page. There were some nice touches such as the bad guy recounting his younger days which, when seen in flashback, saw him still wearing his mask throughout. This was amusing and also held the mystery - because he’s bound to be one of the several characters we’ve met already . Surly?!

Other highlights were Gus Fring in a Pringle jumper and the bad guy getting all his murder tips from Discovery Channel documentaries - yeah no nutter has ever been inspired by torture porn films!

There were a few grisly deaths and  some pretty brutal tortures but none so extreme that made a big wuss like me wince. It was a throwaway bit of derivative nonsense, but it was well enough made and with just enough to keep you interested for the 105 minute run time. I just hope they don’t make good on the potential sequel. Still they could call that ‘Jurassic Park 5’ and see if they can get away with that!

THE Tag Line : No, Not That One 67%

No.38 : The Matador (2005)

The Matador at the IMDb

Pierce Brosnan tries to shed his James Bond image with a role as a hard drinking, hard shagging assassin with indifferent results.

Brosnan basically plays an exaggerated version of Bond but with an oh so important moustache. He kills various business and political figures without a second thought through his handler, The Library Detective off ‘Seinfeld’. He enjoys his mojiotos, which is useful seeing as the whole film was filmed in Mexico City despite the various clumsy graphics that pop up denoting different cities around the world.

His world is coming apart however and after a botched hit he starts to wonder if he’s next on the hit list. Meanwhile businessman Greg Kinnear has problems of his own as his important business deal is about to go down the pan. He’s also in mouring for his dead son and his relationship with wife, Hope Davis , is showing the strain.

Our two heroes paths collide and after a bonding session at a bullfight they have decisions to make. The film then jumps six months into the future as Brosnan turns up at Kinnear’s snowy Denver home. He’s on the run from his handlers and looking for a return favour. Did he do Kinnear a turn to get his pivotal business deal through and can the favour be returned to save Brosnan’s ever shakier, but still pumping ass?

On first looks this film seems a bit slight. Essentially it’s a two way show between two middle aged men with crisisies in their business and family lives. Obviously the hit man angle spices things up a bit but given we get to see only a couple of actual hits this isn’t really going to win the film pass marks. Brosnan does his best to go against type and parades quite happily in his pants and cow boy boots while getting it on doggy style with several ladies.

His character is quite fun although not entirely believable. Someone so erratic and flamboyant wouldn’t last five minutes without gaining the attentions of the authorities but you tend to overlook this when you sign up for the fun ride the film offers. Kinnear on the other hand does his usual shtick of being the slightly off kilter everyman and is an able foil to Brosnan. I don’t think I’ve seen a bad Greg Kinnear film and he does his usual solid work here.

The film really hits its stride after the bullfight and the two protagonists are pulled from their lives and have to rely on each other. The final scenes and acts are off camera and we’re left to wonder who did what to whom.

The film is a pretty tight 90 minutes and although not a lot happens it does offer two good performances in a shady world with plenty of dark laughs along the way. I’d maybe have liked a bit more action and less chat but Brosnan was good fun and the script was witty and peppered with enough lovely ladies to keep things humming along.

It’s maybe not a classic that’ll live long in the memory but as an exercise in exorcising Bond’s sharp one liners and off screen sexual acrobatics it’s well worth a look.

THE Tag Line : No Bull - Matador Worth Seeing

No.30 : The Clearing (2004)

The Clearing at the IMDb

Robert Redford, Helen Mirren and Willem Dafoe star in this under seen but highly watchable kidnap thriller.

Redford plays Wayne, a successful businessman who lives in a fancy home with Helen. He heads off to work and is reminded to be home by six for a dinner party, but never shows up. Mirren has a sleepless night before calling the cops. We then flit back and forth to see how the kidnapping played out while Mirren realises what has happened.

We then join Redford and his kidnapper Dafoe in the titular woodland area where their psychological battle takes place. At the homestead Helen tries to keep a brave face as the FBI unravel their private life, including Robert’s past affairs. She’s helped along by her grown up children who included the annoying English guy out of the ’Goal’ films.

Dafoe, who at first seems a well organised planner, slowly starts to unravel as Redford pries into his past and spots his false moustache. Usually the advice isn’t to antagonise one’s captor or to get information that may later identify them but Dafoe is a regular chatterbox which may not bode well for Redford.

As kidnapper and hostage head towards the hunting lodge where the former’s confederates lie in wait Mirren has to contend to with being the bag woman for the $10 million in diamonds ransom. Will Wayne’s world come crashing down as he attempts a last ditch escape? Will Helen forgive and forget or keep the sparklers? and will our old pal the non-linear narrative have a last card to play?

This film is based on a real life Dutch kidnapping and although this film is peppered with a-listers you do still have a sense of foreboding for Redford’s character throughout. Redford is a well known friend of the definitive movie fan with ‘The Natural’, ‘The Sting’ and ‘The Candidate’ (not heard of that one) all in our future. He’s not a favourite of mine, always appearing to play himself, but he’s certainly got a great body of work behind him.

Speaking of great bodies Helen Mirren does her usual solid work although, shockingly, she keeps her clothes on for most of the film. Dafoe is great as the slightly unhinged kidnapper whose confidence is gradually chipped away by Redford’s sharp talking. I liked his cloudy motivation and unpredictability - the scariest kind of bad guys!

‘The Clearing’ of the title is probably more of a notion of clarity rather than a defined space in the woods as there isn‘t really one shown in the film. There probably was one, like the bit where Wayne put on his trainers but that was hardly a major plot point. Maybe it was referring to someone’s schedule being cleared? Yes, that’ll do it for me.

The triumph of the film is to keep you caring for a womanising, slightly smarmy lead who is on a hook for most of the film. As his life with Mirren is deconstructed by the Feds, and then by the wife who goes to see the mistress, you see that his bravado is all a front and he’s as scared as any of us would be in the situation he finds himself in.

The finale of the ransom drop has the familiar run around town elements with the bad guys always one step ahead, but it’s a welcome step up in pace and the tension generated makes for a fitting climax. As the film flits between the two leads you’re keen to get back to the other one and then back again so a good job done Mr Editor. The ending itself is no great surprise, if you pay attention throughout the film but is no less affecting for all that.

Some may find the pace a bit pedestrian, but I like a slow boiler and if you stick with it to the end you’ll be glad you did.

THE Tag Line : Worth Seeing Is The Clearing 67%