No.64 : The Impossible (2012)

The Impossible on IMDb

If you want to see a bunch of manky people splashing about in some fetid water you could drop in at the open day at Springburn baths or, if you prefer, watch ‘The Impossible’.

The film is set around the 2004 tsunami and its aftermath. Although it claims to a true story the film uses typical Hollywood licence with the real life family of Spaniards replaced by the far more glamorous Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts.

We open as our two heroes and their three screaming kids head off to a Christmas holiday in Thailand. The foreshadowing looms large with the kids all saying they hate each other and Naomi losing a page out of her book. It doesn’t stop there and once they arrive the boy is denied a Coke and we catch a glimpse of Mum’s boob as she dons her swimsuit. Remember these points dear reader, they’ll be referenced later and we’ll all say ‘Oh that’s a bit ironic’.

The family are soon holed up in their beach resort and enjoy a carefree Christmas - but beware! those musical cues over the sea suggest a malevolent presence lurking beneath the waves. Soon the men folk are enjoying playing with their new ball in the pool and Naomi loses a page out of her book (remember that from paragraph three!). She chases it down but notes the pane of glass it’s stuck to is vibrating. The birds leave the trees and a rumble is heard. Of course it’s the tsunami - I mean that’s hardly a spoiler seeing as it’s in the trailer.

The big wave hits and the family are scattered. We initially follow Naomi who after getting bumped about a bit soon catches up with her most irritating child, Lucas. The pair trudge out of the water and after Mum’s newly exposed boob (another one!) is hastily put away, they try to find help. Selfish Lucas is taught about the need to help people and they harvest a small blond moppet with a hair fixation. The trio struggle to an overrun hospital and Naomi’s leg is looking a bit dodgy.

Focus then shifts to Ewan who has also ridden the wave to safety. He has hooked up with the other two boys; so we are all alive and all that is needed is the inevitable reunion, but wait - there’s still an hour to go! To fill the gap we need a few more setbacks so Naomi goes missing  and then the two found boys get lost too. Can the whole clan be reunited? Of course, but it may take some time…

I didn’t really fancy this film on hearing about it, thinking it’d be a TV movie of the week exploiting a natural disaster for a mawkish human interest story. In truth it was, but it was better than I’d expected. Definite heroes Ewan (The Ghost) and Naomi (The International) do well in what is clearly a bill paying exercise for them.

The plot is basic and linear with few surprises and lots of false starts. Several times we get ‘Oh no he’s just missed him’ moments as the characters’ paths almost cross without them seeing their nearest and dearest.

The highlight is definitely the special effects with the tsunami realised in cracking detail with the scale and magnitude of the disaster plain to see. The budget is wisely invested here with savings made on the script and Naomi’s make up, which sees her looking like an extra from ‘Dawn of the Dead’ towards the end.

At two hours every emotional possibility is wrung for all it’s worth, but the outcome is never in doubt. There is some jarring product placements “Zurich insurance have arranged a flight home and top class medical care”! but overall it’s enjoyable true life drama, albeit drama wrung through the Hollywood cookie cutter.

THE Tag line : Wave the Oscars good bye!  64%

No.57 : The Ghost (2010)

The Ghost at the IMDb

No spooks here; ‘The Ghost’ in question is a ghost writer hired to re-write the memoirs of a former British Prime Minister after the original scribe takes a dive off a ferry.

The story is so clearly based around a certain former PM that they could have called it ‘The Tony Blair Story’ and it wouldn’t have been any more obvious.

Anyway the writer in question is played by Ewan McGregor who starts off with an annoying accent that he wisely ditches early on. He’s hard drinking and lacking in scruples especially when $250k is dangled for the re write job. He heads off to Massachusetts to meet the former PM who is played by Pierce Brosnan in his usual dependable but predictable manner. He is married to the feisty Olivia Williams and has the slutty one off ‘Sex and the City’ as an assistant.

As Ewan and Pierce start to go over the latter’s life a story breaks of war crime charges being brought against the former James Bond by his former Foreign Secretary. Ewan has to move into Brosnan's home to get away from the protesters and is soon moving into his wife as well. Now ensconced into the dead ghost writer’s room he discovers some photos and a phone number which lead him to betray his lazy hack credentials and begin an investigation that’ll threaten his life and reveal some frankly quite dull conspiracies.

‘The Ghost’ is a decent enough thriller but the finale lets it down badly as do the revelations which are pretty low key. The mystery itself takes an age to unravel and some of the conundrums like the conflicting dates had to be slowly explained to me to reveal their minor significance.

Other well worn devices like the checking of the sat-nav and the most helpful Google searches you’ll ever see make the whole thing seem a bit pat. There is a small element of danger introduced with the familiar ‘men in black car following’ used to no real effect.

Of the cast Olivia Williams is the best as the ‘power behind the throne’ wife although her bed hopping antics didn’t really ring true. Brosnan is OK as the slightly unhinged and a bit dumb former PM and McGregor is decent in a significant role. Obviously working with director Roman Polanski is a great draw to the acting community with familiar faces all over the place which can sometimes hinder a film as the audience keep stepping out the narrative to say ‘what was he in again?’.

At over two hours the film drags on a bit and when the foreign secretary gets out the manuscript and starts reading I thought we were going to see him read every word. The direction and script were fine but for the most part the film was a bit of an anti-climax where not a lot happens. A similar but far more enjoyable film is ‘Spartan’ and if you’d two hours to kill I’d go with that.

THE Tag Line - Ghost Lacks Fright Or Bite 65%