No.224 : The Fury (1978)

The Fury (1978) at the IMDb

I remember seeing the trailer for this film probably 35 years ago and thought it looked great. The main showpiece was an exploding carnival and I made a mental note to look it up. Decades passed, but eventually it came up on Film 4 and I got my long awaiting viewing. What a disappointment! It’s like a low rent ‘X-Men’, with the heralded funfair scene lasting 30 seconds and consisting of some Arabs flying through a window.

The film opens in the “Mid East 1977”. Kirk Douglas is on holiday with his son Robin and friend John Cassavetes. He tells the reluctant son that they need to go to live in Chicago to investigate his abilities, but before they can pay their bar bill some Arabs attack. Lots of bullets fly but strangely one Arab is videotaping events. For reasons unknown Kirk makes off in a speedboat which immediately explodes. With Kirk thought dead Cassavetes shows his true colours and congratulates the Arabs on a job well done. Fortunately Kirk suffered only a torn t-shirt and manages to machine gun Cassavete’s arm before the  traitor makes off with the confused Robin.

A year passes and we’re in Chicago. Amy Irving is out with her friend but is tagged as a psychic by a suspicious looking man in a mac. He calls Kirk and tells him he’s found someone who maybe able to help him trace Robin. The CIA are however on the ball and trace the call to Kirk’s hotel room. If he hadn’t stayed in the same one as Jake Blues he’d have been less conspicuous. Just hope he remembered the Cheese Whizz, Boy.

Kirk gets away but Amy is enrolled into a school for talented psychics after she causes some trouble with her mind reading and nose bleed inducing powers. She forms a psychic connection with Robin and, despite them both being sedated and controlled at the CIA special school, both start to see their powers develop.

Can Kirk save his boy? Was it a good idea to inspect the roof together and will Cassavetes get his cleaning deposit back?

This was an overlong thriller with not enough happening to justify the two hour investment of your time. It was quite dated with the film stock looking like video tape. Director Brian De Palma also made some strange choices such as a round table dolly shot that made me dizzy and some terrible rear projection work in the car scenes. To be fair, there were some inventive touches such as Irving inhabiting the visions she was seeing, while the action played on, oblivious to her presence.

The special effects were variable with the blue eyes that signified ‘the fury’ looking painted on in post production. Some of the ‘Scanners’ like psychic violence was pretty brutal, with Cassavetes especially getting a rough time of it. (it's only a model!)

Kirk Douglas didn’t convince as the semi action hero running about in his shorts with a machine gun. He was 60 or so at the time of filming, so the only convincing scenes he had were those when he was ‘disguised’ as an old man.

The plot was quite weak with no explanation of the powers or their extent. Robin seemed to be corrupted by his power in five minutes whereas Irving needed a major character shift to mete out her revenge.

If the film lost half an hour and focused more on the powers than the quest to find the son it would have been a lot more enjoyable. As it was, it was really just Kirk looking for his son with added thought powers - and those are the cheapest of all super powers!

THE Tag Line : John Cassavetes is Definitely Dead  60%

No.120 : The Juggler (1953)

The Juggler at the IMDb

Kirk Douglas stars in this black and white drama from 1953, as the titular ball manipulator.

It’s 1949 and boatloads of Jews are arriving in their new homeland of Israel following the end of World War 2. Amongst them are camp survivors including Kirk, who has no actual baggage but emotional baggage to spare. He’s managed to keep his slick haircut, but we know his time in the camp has left him a broken man.

Rather insensitively the Israelis put the camp survivors up in a camp and it’s not long before Kirk starts to get cabin fever. Any brush with authority signals loud musical cues that suggest Kirk is like a trapped animal. After a day in the camp he decides to head off to see if he can find peace elsewhere. Of course this is never going to happen and when an officer asks for his papers in a routine check Kirk kicks his head in and runs off thinking he’s killed the curious copper.

Kirk's chiselled jow and elaborate hair atract the attention of the locals and his tale of being an American tourist convinces no one. He does however meet up with a teenage lad in the park ; no, not like that, and the two go on the road together. The boy is impressed with Kirk’s juggling skills and his line in lame puns. The two arrive at a romote kibbutz but stray into a mine field that sees the boy blown up - but not fatally.

Meanwhile the cops are piecing together Kirk’s trail and put up some wanted posters that soon bring fresh leads. The kibbutz has no telephones so Kirk can relax and soon falls for a lonely Jewish girl who has a nice line in short shorts. Kirk finds it difficult to commit but agrees to put on a show for the kids with the help of his now somewhat healed up young friend. As the show gets underway the cops close in - will Kirk entertain the urchins or will his fate be a hail of bullets that signals there are no excuses for bobby bashing?

This was a strange film that was almost a travel brochure for the new state of Israel with some policeman punching added for good measure. There are lots of scenes of industrious Israelis building things or having a big community dance at sun down.

Kirk is portrayed as a damaged man from the off with his concentration camp tattoo flashed regularly so we know our sympathies lie with him despite his poor circus act and penchant for punching. He’s not that sympathetic but he does command your attention, although that’s not saying much given that much of the cast appear to be locals roped in by the production to deliver a couple of wooden lines.

There isn’t much in the way of social commentary with the Germans barely getting a mention. Kirk’s demons are to do with confinement and authority and they make the point well that it doesn’t matter who wears the uniform if you have issues, like Kirk.

The travelogue aspect is well done although I wasn’t buying the romance angle. Kirk’s juggling was quite good but his clown act and hand puppetry work was sorely lacking. The message about healing old scars and understanding mental illness were rote large throughout and at no point was the outcome in doubt. It was however an undemanding 90 minutes and although not worth juggling your schedule to catch it’s worth a look if you chance upon it.

THE Tag Line - Go for the Juggler, if it’s on.  64%

No.84 : The Vikings (1958)

The Vikings at the IMDb

Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis star in this 1958 campy historical romp which my cynical eye believes not to be 100% factual.

It is England in the Dark Ages and the Vikings are raiding and ruffling the ladies’ clothes. The king has been killed and his Queen is been pensioned off by the new pretender to the throne. The Queen confides in the Bishop that she was impregnated by a Viking and the child will be the rightful heir. The Bishop sends the infant off to Italy so a bunch of priests can look after it - a likely tale! The boy is given a rare jewel to prove his lineage - well DNA testing is about 1200 years away.

Meanwhile the Vikings return home with much revelry and a fey Englishman who has fled the land after being correctly accused of helping the raiders. They go for a tour of the grounds and after Kirk’s falcon fails a test he’s upstaged by a slave who has the better bird. A fight breaks out and Kirk ends up one eye down. The slave, who turns out to be Tony Curtis under a beard, is condemned to the traditional ‘death by crabs’ - and not in a good way!

A seeming intervention by the Gods saves Tony from his nippy fate and he is claimed by the English traitor - possibly because of that rare stone he wears around his neck - remember that? A bit of digging reveals the infant was saved from the priests by the Vikings without them knowing his true identity. The Vikings soon set off for England again with a plan to kidnap the King’s bride to be - a rather fetching Janet Leigh. They get there and back in five minutes and after a bit of squabbling over who gets first dibs Tony frees the wench and they make off in a stolen longboat.

The low speed chase results in Kirk crashing his boat and Tony rescuing Ernest Borgnine, the Viking leader whom he takes prisoner. He also takes a fancy to Janet especially after getting a hot look at her sexy back when she reluctantly pitches in on the rowing. Tony delivers the Viking chief to the evil King but after helping him have hero’s death in the wolf pit he forfeits a hand to the malevolent monarch. Tony heads back to the Fjords and the eyepatched Kirk and soon the two join forces to gets some revenge and steal the girl. Will the two save the girl and who gets her fair hand? Will the crown be restored to the rightful heir and will an early episode of ‘Who Do You Think You Are’ save some sibling slaughter?

I wasn’t looking forward to this raid on the dressing up box but it was a lot of fun with plenty of action. It is of course hard to see beyond the two Hollywood stars hamming it up as Norsemen but they have so much fun in the roles that you soon forget your misgivings and sign on for the ride.

The cast is uniformly great but I especially enjoyed Frank Thring as the evil king. His overacting made Dr Evil look low key but he is so malevolent and hammy that he’s a joy to boo. Leigh is lovely if somewhat bland and Borgnine was almost unrecognisable as the rapist Viking Chief.

The production was lavish with some cracking locations and a cast of thousands, most of whom got killed by a variety of gruesome methods - axes, big rocks, arrows you name it. The fate and destiny elements were well signposted with a wise woman on hand to keep us right lest we have fallen asleep. The big ending battle was well executed with a couple of inventive ways employed to get into the impregnable castle. The closing scenes were more of a shock but I’m all for a few last minute surprises.

At two hours the film never drags and despite the action switching from England to Norway like they are a bus stop apart the customs and battles seemed well researched and authentic - unlike Tony’s false handless arm!

THE Tag Line : Vi-King of the Castle!

Rating : 77%

No.80 : The Brotherhood (1968)

The Brotherhood at the IMDb

Off to 1968 as Kirk Douglas tries to shoe horn is as many Mafia clichés as he can in 90 minutes - will he break the record? Fagagettaboutit!

We open as a plane begins its decent into Sicily with our focus on a nervous young man. He is rebuffed by taxi drivers at arrival when they hear his destination but one cabbie agrees to take him. He must have flown Ryanair as it takes ages for him to arrive at his destination. Meanwhile a moustachioed Kirk Douglas is also making a journey and taking his gun along for the ride.

The two meet at a ruined castle and quickly embrace - Kirk tells the guns wielding torpedoes to settle down as this is his brother. The two men have a good old chat but Kirk’s wife warns him that ‘they will send someone’ as his brother unpacks his own gun in his bedroom.

We then go into flashback mode to see how things ended up as they have.

This section of the film opens with the younger brother, Vince, getting married. He’s fresh out of the forces and asks Kirk if he can join the family firm. Kirk is made up about this but we can see that the never smooth running world of the Mafia is creaking at the edges as different factions at various tables spend the whole time glaring at each other.

Some sections of the mob are keen to modernise with a lucrative deal in electronics appealing to the new guard. Kirk is more old school and is cautious to stay in scams that he understands, which unsettles the other Dons.

Meanwhile a canary is executed and as always in these films everyone is wondering who is squealing to the Feds to save their own skin.

After some pretty complicated double crosses Kirk decides to make a stand and kills a suspected snitch. This sends him into exile to Sicily and we are quickly back where we started. With the two bothers reunited can they resolve their differences and satisfy the mob? Will ties to the Mafia supersede family loyalties?

For a film concerned with the mafia this was a dull affair with too much talking and not enough action. As the title implies ‘brotherhood’ and loyalty are closely examined but as with all mafia films they all come across as a bunch of nutters looking out for themselves. The plan here to corner the electronics market was hardly exciting, and this was borne out by Vince showing Kirk lots of accounts to demonstrate how lucrative it could be. Call me old fashioned, but I was longing for a bit of honest to goodness leg breaking instead.

The film was hung on the central relationship between the two brothers and it didn’t work for me. Kirk was the fiery, headstrong one while Vince was more thoughtful and measured. This may be to show they are chalk and cheese but I didn’t see any real passion and that followed through to the denouement where the big decision was made without a second thought.

The locations in New York and Sicily were great but the cast was chock full of dull old stereotypes and the script was plodding at best. Overall how they managed to wring such a dull non-event out of the subject matter was an achievement indeed!

THE Tag Line : You won’t see this, Right?   56%