No.198 : The Whistleblower (2010)

The Whistleblower at the IMDb

Rachel Weisz stars in this bio-pic of Kathryn Bolcovac, the titular whistleblower who stood up for the trafficked women she found when working for the UN in post war Bosnia in 1999.

The films opens with two Ukrainian girls chatting in, I presume, Ukrainian. There are no subtitles and for a minute I thought I had a dud DVD, but you do manage to get an idea what’s going on. Basically one has gone to an agency and is getting her photo taken - huge red flag!

Weisz is a policewoman in Nebraska who is trying to get a transfer. She has lost a custody battle with her husband and needs to move if she is to keep in contact with her kids. The answer to her problems looks like it has arrived in the shape of a 6 month, $100k contract to work in Bosnia, following the end of the war. Her role is one of peacekeeper so she can’t always get involved in the seedy activities she sees going on.

After managing to prosecute the first case of domestic abuse in years she is spotted by boss woman Vanessa Redgrave, who gets her a promotion to head of female affairs. Meanwhile we see the Ukrainian girl from the start who is now a sex worker in a grotty bar. She and Weisz’ paths cross and, after finding a lot of Polaroids showing that UN workers are involved in all aspects of the trade, Rachel resolves to clean things up.

It’s not an easy task however, as all UN workers have diplomatic immunity and the powers that be have a desire to keep things quiet, lest the lucrative government contracts be pulled. She has brief help from Dr Strange and from David Strathearn at internal affairs, but her plans for justice are thwarted at every turn.

How far will Weisz go to save the girls and can the broken system be fixed?

This was a worthy and informative film, but one you would be hard pressed to enjoy. The treatment of women throughout is terrible with some of the extras from ‘Taken’ regularly delivering savage beatings to some dead-eyed girls. This means a lot of the film is women screaming and, although it’s doubtlessly realistic, I was worried the neighbours might call the cops on me.

Weisz is great in the lead and you can tell she is passionate about the subject of human trafficking. She doesn’t have any make up on and is usually in fatigues so you can’t say she’s in it for the glamour.

It was a clever device to follow the Ukrainian girl throughout so that we have a familiar face to empathise with. I was less keen on the several scenes where all the dialogue was in a foreign language and we had to guess what was going on.

The top level cast was mostly good, although Dr Strange and Davos Seaworth only had a couple of brief scenes each. To be fair, this film dates from 2010 so both were still early in their, soon to be stellar, careers.

The film used a largely blue and grey palette and the general mood was one of oppression and decay. It certainly suited the subject matter but, along with the brutal content, it only underlined what a depressing experience this film could be for some.

I did enjoy it, and although the captions at the end said that the problem wasn’t fixed, it was good to celebrate one woman’s efforts to right the horrible wrongs being perpetuated by those who were sent as saviours.

THE Tag Line : As Harrowing As It Should Be!   72%

No.171 : The Dirt (2019)

The Dirt at the IMDb

I’d read the book ‘The Dirt’ a few years back and rally liked its sleazy, grimy feel, so I was looking forward to this Netflix produced movie version. It’s pretty good but not a patch on the book, which leaves you needing a shower after reading a few pages.

The film follows the book closely and uses it’s same narrative devices with characters breaking the fourth wall to explain situations or to give opinions on the events unfolding. In the book the band members all write separate chapters and often contradict each other on key events. This is harder to show on film, so at times it does seem a bit of an unstructured mess - that’s not always a bad thing as the chaos and mayhem intended come across vividly.

The film opens with a young Nikki Sixx leaving his family for the rock and roll lifestyle. He’s wearing a Judge Dredd t-shirt from the ‘Judge Death Lives’ story line that post dates the timeline being shown - I hope someone got fired for that howler!

After the usual round of trashy gigs and failed auditions they end up with the starting line up for their band ‘Motely Crue’ - sorry can’t find the umlauts. After five minutes of struggle the band are soon playing stadium gigs and are behaving very badly.

There are some funny scenes with them trashing hotel rooms and sniffing ants with Ozzie Osbourne and oh so many groupies. There are more tits on show here than in the RSPB annual survey.

The band soon starts to fracture with their relationships with each other and their partners failing, leading to break ups and fall outs. They all get sober and fall off the wagon before splitting up and then reforming. It’s basically every rock band bio-pic that you’ve ever seen.

The cast is pretty good with most of them unknown to me apart from Mick Marrs who was played by Ramsay Bolton and their manager who was played by Gale Boetticher off ‘Breaking Bad’ - that’s were the drugs came from!

The Netflix description says the film is “Unflinching” and that’s true - the band come across as a shower of self centred dicks with few redeeming features. That’s good in terms of it being an honest piece of work but you have very little invested in them - a tour bus explosion wouldn’t have been a bad thing!

Of course as a bio-pic you have to stick to the facts and that is done to the smallest detail with the closing credits showing real and recreated images of the same event. It’s good they went to that level of detail with the authenticity, but they could maybe have delved a bit deeper into the band’s motivations and the consequences of their actions. Still you don’t watch a Crue bio-pic for some deep naval gazing.

There was a decent budget in play with the costumes and sets all well done. There were limits however, with the stadium shows looking a bit light and Tommy’s rotating drums cage just being a couple of metal bars over his head.

I liked that real people such as Ozzie and Heather Locklear were shown and there were some genuinely funny moments. I especially liked the A&R man turning to camera to say ‘Don’t leave your girlfriend with Motely Crue - they’ll fuck her”.

There were a couple of bits that took you out of the story such as when the voice over tells you certain characters aren’t going to be shown in the film - I don’t know why that was needed as it wasn’t billed as a documentary. Still I guess it’s in keeping with the book’s ‘warts and all’ approach.

I did think that the bands struggle to the top was a bit quick and they missed out the best story from the book where they all bought breakfast burritos before going home so they could stick their dicks in them to prevent their girlfriends smelling the groupies on them. I guess smelling of a McMuffin was fine!

Overall this was a good effort. It wasn’t quite as sleazy as I‘d have liked with the band looking a bit clean cut in places. They did however not shirk from the sex and drugs, with the rock n roll also present although they didn’t do my favourite Crue song ‘Wild Side’.

Well worth a look on you lock down Netflix odyssey.

THE Tag Line : Needs More Dirt!   73%

No. 126 : The Founder (2016)

The Founder at the IMDb

Have you ever wonder how lard slinging chain McDonalds became a worldwide brand? Me neither, but seemingly someone thought it a tale worth telling - so let’s have a look, and yes, you can have fries with that.

Michael Keaton gets his Birdman wings clipped as he stars as salesman and generally unlikeable swindle merchant Ray Kroc. It’s the early 1950’s and whilst trying to peddle milkshake machines he comes across the first McDonalds burger stand, owned and operated by Ron Swanson and his brother. The naive siblings take Ray in and basically give him the blueprints for the entire operation. Their motivations aren’t clear, apart from being good old honest working folk, but they soon regret it as Ray starts to take over.

Ray initially flounders as the founder as he’s tied into a poor contract with the brothers that sees very little money come his way. This leads to friction with his dour wife Laura Dern who basically just pulls sour faces in every scene she appears. Ray starts to branch out on his own, and after a chance meeting with Ryan from ‘The Office’, he realises that the real money is made in the restaurant property rather than from the burgers. Soon he aims to take over the business and after a few shady moves he ends up with a new wife and a shot at the big prize. Will McDonalds survive beyond the 1950’s? Will any of their patrons survive into their 50’s?

This bio-pic was Ok but you have to ask ‘why bother?’ The outcome was never really in doubt and as a viewer you had very little invested in seeing the corporate giant survive its difficult birth. Keaton’s Ray Kroc was an unlikeable and unsympathetic con man and his character arc never made it past the drive-thru. Even at the start, when he was a struggling salesman, he was a dick and the film never convinced in its notion that Ray’s corporate raiding was the result of an unfair contract or his oft mentioned perseverance. Basically he took advantage of a couple of hicks and made millions - thank you and have a bio-pic with your Happy Meal.

Of course not all bio-pic subjects have to be sympathetic but there was hardly a lot to engage with, when the big denouement centred around milk or powdered milk in the milk shakes.

The cast was pretty good with recognisable faces all over the place. Sadly most had little to do, with Ryan from ‘The Office’ a study in method acting as he scratches his chin when overhearing Ray’s financial woes at the bank. The direction was also lumpen with Ray’s drinking problem subtly suggested as he rushes for the bottle in practically every scene.

The sets and locations were good with some nice evocations of 50’s America. I liked how one outlet was shown as going to the dogs as there was a bit of litter outside! and a rough combing his hair in the car park!

Overall this was a serviceable 100 minute bio-pic that concerns a largely uninteresting subject in a world that offers little in the way of excitement - ooh will he get a bank loan?! Will there be two pickles in the bun?! Like the fast food it centred on this film was unsatisfying and will be quickly forgotten. Wait!  - No nuggets of interest!

THE Tag Line : Floundering Founder is a Filet-O-Pish 52%

No.112 : The Switch (1993)

The Switch at the IMDb

 Bill Lumbergh off ‘Office Space’  stars in this 1993 true life drama that has nothing to do with the spunk swapping we enjoyed back in number 95.

‘The Switch’ in this case is an on/off switch for a life support machine that our paralysed hero insists on having installed. Bill plays Larry McAfee who in the opening scene suffers a catastrophic motorcycle accident that leaves him paralysed below the neck. We witness his treatment which is intercut with a tampon advert’s of sport and bonding as Larry retreats into his memories. We also get to witness him going over the bars of his bike in glorious slo-mo.

We cut to a year later and Larry is mobile in a straw controlled wheelchair but his insurance cash is running out. His hapless parents find him an evil hospital in Texas where they aren’t very nice and give him his bed baths at night. These scene are well done with Larry’s POV giving us an insight of his helpless situation.

After 4 years he’s been bounced around various hospitals with his smart mouth and quick temper meaning his welcome never lasts long. He manages to engage a lawyer and proposes his patented ‘switch’ idea that will allow him to kill himself without anyone risking charges for helping him. His plight also gets the attention of a talk radio host who must be great as he has Beverly D’angelo as an assistant and wife.

Larry manages to get court approval for his switch but the publicity the case garners encourages the DJ to have Larry on the show and get him a straw powered phone. This new outlet for his thoughts helps Larry regain his will to live as do some quality days out in the park and some nice cleavage rich shaving with Beverly.

Despite these steps forward Larry is still keen on flicking the switch and the DJ agrees, despite Larry moving to a new state where his judgement doesn’t apply. After a strange night time car park handover the switch is obtained and installed. Will Larry make the three puffs that will stop his oxygen or is it just control over his own life he needs?

It’s the second one, and soon in an assisted living facility Larry is making friends and learning some new software that may allow him to get back to work. The other residents resent Larry’s switch that they think it makes it too convenient for able bodied folk to see their disabled friends switch themselves off. But soon his spirit and refocused energy wins them over. Can Larry make a life for himself and will the switch ever be used?

This was a pretty much by the numbers ‘triumph over adversity’ bio-pic with lots of setbacks followed by life affirming achievement. It was enjoyable however with a great and recognisable cast. Gary Cole is excellent as the lead although sometimes he moves a bit more than is supposedly possible when he gets anxious. There is a lot of sentimentality and it is clearly packaged as a tear jerker for the Lifetime Network.

They did well to paint Larry as a bit of a dick but still likeable throughout. The uplifting musical cues every time a worthy speech was uttered did get a bit grating but give the guy a break, he’s had a tough time!

THE Tag Line - You Won’t Switch Off Either! 65%

No.109 : The Raven (2012)

The Raven at the IMDb

John Cusack stars as Edgar Allen Poe in this film, which isn’t so much as a bio-pic as a sexed up fantasy depiction of the writer’s final days.

We open with the Victorian era Baltimore police breaking into a locked apartment. They know a killer is in the room as the door was just locked, but find no one apart from a couple of dead bodies. After scratching their heads a young detective finds a hidden switch on a nailed down window frame, which causes it to open and reveal the killer’s means of egress. The detective reveals his moment of inspiration came from a book he’d read, but who had written it?

Meanwhile Poe is having a hard time. His newspaper editor refuses to print his review, the barman denies him credit and the father of his new love chases him off with a gun. It could be worse though - he could be the bloke getting chopped in two by a fragging great pendulum.

With the bodies piling up the detective realises that someone is killing people in the manner of deaths from Poe’s books. He enlists the help of the manic author and the two manage to deduce the likely location of the next murder - the masked ball hosted by Poe’s lover’s father - good old Brendan Gleeson, on moderate shouty form.

Things don’t go as planned and the mysterious killer achieves his true aim - to kidnap Poe’s love in a bid to coax more works from him. What follows is a series of clues that lead to more deaths and dead ends. All the while Poe’s lover is buried underground and only Poe’s daily stories in the paper can keep her alive until the puzzle is solved.

I quite enjoyed this film despite it being really farfetched. It was almost like CSI Victorian Baltimore with a steam punk Poe in the lead. I always had Poe down as a quiet bookish man but how wrong I was - he chases villains on horseback while shooting his pistol gangsta style!

The film opened well and like I liked the central idea of a killer employing Poe’s macabre methods of death to gain the scribe’s attention. It did however go downhill once the kidnapping took place and towards the end it was like a ‘Comic Strip Presents’ version of his life with Hollywood demanding more heroics at every turn.

The deaths were pretty good although the majority were only seen after the fact. The unmasking of the villain didn’t make a lot of sense and you have to wonder where he got the means and indeed time to set up his elaborate murders.

I felt Cusack was miscast and too tall and dashing for the role. His usual mania was present and correct and although he was playing a drug addled drunk, I never got beyond the feeling he was hamming it up. Gleeson was a bit better, but his character’s 180 degree turn in his feelings for Poe was misjudged. The Detective character needed a bit more presence and again he went from contempt to hero worship in his feelings for Poe in 30 seconds.

The effects were largely OK although I don’t know why they needed a ‘follow the bullet’ shot that seemed incongruous with the rest of the film. That said it was directed by ‘V For Vendetta’ helmer James McTeigue which also explains the shot of the baddie jumping from the roof which was lifted wholesale, hat and all, from that much better film.

‘The Raven’ is a decent enough distraction but it fails to be the equal of its parts and the whole thing seems more than a bit silly long before the end.

THE Tag Line : You Won't Rue (Morgue) Watching It  - 65%

No.97 : The Runaways (2010)

 The Runaways at the IMDb

Rock bio-pic time now as the little known band ‘The Runaways’ get the Hollywood treatment in this by the numbers effort.

It’s the seventies in Los Angeles and punk is taking off. Joan Jett is keen to get in on the action and harasses record producer Kim Fowley for a deal. He’s hesitant at first but when he spots 16 year old Cherie Currie he starts to put together the band. As you’d expect the band start out rubbish, get a bit better and into drugs before jealousy and musical differences break them up.

The two leads played by Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning don’t convince as the trailer trash bad girls they are meant to be and although they make a good effort I didn’t buy into either. Michael Shannon who is great in ‘Boardwalk Empire’ is miscast as the producer and his mad eyes and dominant presence are shamefully underused.

I did like the grungy 70s vibe and some of the music was good although not that of the band, which was a total racket.  The characters were thinly drawn with troubles at home and being an outsider the usual suspects when a bit of depth was sought. Some bits like Joan pissing on some guitars didn’t add to the appeal of the film  and the whole rites of passage idea was rushed and unconvincing.

The three acts were well defined with the ‘rise to stardom’ bit overlong. Basically you get an hour of them fighting and singing in a caravan before ten minutes of modest success and drug use before a half an hour autopsy of what might have been. The formula will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a rock film and you knew the writing was on the wall as soon as Dakota got a solo photo shoot.

There will be a certain dirty old man element who’ll love this film with lots of shots of the teen girls dancing around in their pants. There was also a strong lesbian vibe too with Joan in her leather pants quite keen on the pre-pubescent Fanning. I found some of it more creepy than sexy and I doubt it was coincidence that Gary Glitter featured on the soundtrack.

I read that the girls played their own instruments and did their own singing and that would certainly suggest they made the right choice in acting over music! The only decent song was ‘Cherry Bomb’ and even that’s down to the hook alone. I see that the band never had any real hits and you have to wonder why they merited a bio-pic given their story was so run of the mill. In ‘Wayne’s World’ terms ; they’re not worthy!

As the film draws to a close there is the inevitable fall out and the band starts to splinter. Joan forms her own band and has a hit with ‘I love rock and roll’ the only familiar song from the whole enterprise. As they go in different directions and have the odd awkward reunion you have to wonder why you should be interested and by the time the film ends you certainly won’t be.

 THE Tag Line - Runaway From This One!  53%

No.20 : The Krays (1990)

The Krays at the IMDb

This bio-pic of the 1960 east London gangsters starts and ends poorly with some old bag wittering on about a swan but the bits in between are OK, in a British film sense.

The legendary gangsters, who were always good to their mutha and never hurt their own, are played in decent fashion by Spandau Ballet duo Gary and Martin Kemp. We open with the lads being born and having a tough upbringing in war time London. The boys’ Dad is a lazy draft dodger constantly on the run from the police in the shape of Blakey off ‘On the Buses’ and all they have is provided by Ma and the lady neighbours all of whom have high opinions of themselves.

The Kray household run by Billie Whitelaw who plays the matriarch who shapes the boys’ lives. After seeing how hard things can be they start up a life of crime after taking advice from Michael Elphick in military prison - never a good plan.

They start small with a run down club but pretty soon they are the biggest crew in town. Not all is rosy however as bi-sexual Ronnie is going a bit mental and soppy Reggie is getting married to an annoying woman who pouts a lot. They also face incursions into their territory by rival gangs and from within their own organisation in the shape of Tom Bell’s Jack ’The Hat’ McVitie.

When Reggie’s wife kills herself the pair decide to settle some scores committing two murders that spell the end of their empire. The film closes with their Mother’s funeral and the pair reunited for one last scowl and a few more lines about that god darn swan and its magic eggs.

I’d never seen this 1990 film before and only remembered the general slagging it got on release over the casting of the pretty boy leads. Despite some early reservations over a pile of clichés and pretentious chat I was won over by the sarf London setting and some pretty gruesome scenes.

The film hangs on the relationship of the twins and although it’s not fully explained why one is nice and the other mental they play well off each other and there is often an air of real evil about. Gary has the harder job as the gay mental one and to be honest he struggles a bit, doing a low menacing voice a bit too often to be convincing. He has a couple of awkward gay scenes and his annoyance by his brother’s marriage is conveyed with a lot of staring.

Martin is a bit better as Reggie although his character arc leaves his acting talent behind when the wife tops herself - presumably because she’d watched her own performance that far. The director obviously knew he had a tough task making the film with two pop stars in the lead roles so he wisely filled out the cast with every actor you’ve ever seen in a kitchen sink drama. Whitelaw has most of the big speeches, but doesn’t have the same menace she had in ‘The Omen’; more of a tiresome old bag a bit too fond of her own voice. Tom Bell also shows up but seems to be drunk most of the time while flailing about wildly.

It was also fun to see Stewpot of ‘Grange Hill’ in a bit part and Steven Berkoff too, doing his usual shouty performance before getting shot in the mole on his forehead - handy that!

The film tried hard to balance the glamour and the violence but to be honest it all seemed a bit of a wretched lifestyle. I thought it was a mistake ending things as soon as the murders took place and I could have done with some of the trial and lost half an hour of women talking about having it hard in the war.

The film is a decent enough effort but it does lack any sense of being something substantial. Basically they have it tough, they slash a few people and they get stuck in the nick for 30 years. A morality tale? A story about conditioning and maternal controls?, of the bond between brothers? Nah it’s a guy getting a sword in the face that you’ll remember.

THE Tag Line : Chant Number 6 out of 10 60%