No.91 : The Oranges (2011)

The Oranges at the IMDb

Sorry fruit fans ; the title refers to the street in New Jersey where our characters live and most of the action takes place. Hold on though I’m pretty sure an apple and a banana make some uncredited appearances.

This romantic comedy isn’t demanding in the slightest and is almost more about manners and foibles in general than it is about any of the poorly sketched characters.

Our two principles are played by Hugh Laurie and Oliver Platt. Both are middle aged suburbanites with decaying marriages that they supplement with jogging and a fondness for gadgets. They socialise together with Laurie’s kids being Maybe Bluth off ‘Arrested Development’ and some lightweight drinker who is heading off to a trade mission to China. Platt has one daughter who is a free spirit living abroad with a surfer dude boyfriend.

The family don’t approve when she phones to says she’s engaged to the douche bag but no sooner than she hangs up the phone does she find him hanging out of some slapper. She returns to the family home for thanksgiving and the families are keen to pair her off with the trade delegate son. Alas he can’t hold his booze and when he passes out the strumpet heads over to Hugh’s man cave for some kissing action.

The next day the pair agree it was a mistake but soon end up kissing some more. Their plans are quickly undone when they are spotted by a nosey mother at a motel and they have to decide where to go from here. Hugh’s wife, the virgin deflowerer from ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’ moves out to a B&B and works things through with her choir and goat providing charity. Hugh has some awkward dates with his youthful love and the age gap becomes apparent when you get the usual scenes of ‘uh-oh maybe this wasn’t a good idea’. Speaking of Maybe she busies herself with doing the narration and little else.

Things come to a head over Christmas as the cheating boyfriend and the trade delegate show up leaving us with the quandary of who will end up with whom and whether they are all really happy .

This film could have been subtitles ‘First World Problems’ as a bunch of well to do yuppies bump uglies and work through issues. It was hard to care about any of them, even the wronged wife who just came across as a whiny moaner with a penchant for snowman murder.

Hugh Laurie played his usual self with no empathy on show. There was no obvious reason why he’s tear his life up for a skinnier version of Keira Knightly (if such as thing is possible!) especially as he and the girl had no chemistry whatsoever. Thankfully the bedroom action was kept to our imagination but there were quite a few kisses that went on a bit too long.

Oliver Platt was phoning his part in as the father of the slapper who liked gadgets. He did have some decent scenes but it was unclear why is daughter being a slut was a reason for the rebirth of his soul and libido. There were a couple of laughs with one discussion of Hugh Laurie’s aged balls the best.

I think this was a decent stab at a bit of whimsy with an indie soundtrack attempting to blare out cool credentials that the bouncer refused at the door. The intention may be to examine relationships and morays  but the result was just a lot of middle-aged people moaning a lot while the kids tried their best to keep up.

THE Tag Line - You Need to Work at Your Relationship (Film)
60%

No.27 : The Rebound (2009)

The Rebound at the IMDb

The second phase of the definite movie review (did you spot the linking device, did you?) opens with this decent if slightly empty age gap rom-com.

It stars Catherine Zeta-Jones, who has her own experience of age gaps affairs although she’s usually the younger one of the pairing. In this she’s a supposed ‘MILF’ who leaves her husband when he inadvertently videos himself getting some ‘special attention’ at their son’s birthday party, while Catherine does to Tina Turner what Ike always tried to.

She moves to New York with her two sassy kids and rents the kind of apartment that can only be found by struggling single moms when they are lucky enough to be appearing in a Hollywood movie. She bumps into romantic interest Aram who is played by the annoying side kick guy off the ‘National Treasure’ movies at the coffee shop where he works.

Aram is on the rebound himself as he’s just been dumped by his French wife who used him to get a green card. Sparks don’t fly at first but when he’s employed as the attack dummy at her female defence class the pair start to click. Initially the relationship is employer/babysitter buts after a few disasterous dates Catherine decides to take a chance on the smitten youth.

Meanwhile, her implausible love of sports statistics see her get a job at a sports TV station and as love blossoms so does her confidence and pretty soon she’s looking to grab a presenting job. As you’d expect trouble looms on the horizon on various fronts from his pushy parents, to her domineering ex-husband to his French wife who is keen to get back together as she is in danger of being deported.

After a few predictable bumps in the road we have to wonder how the pair are going to get back together, because you can bet your bottom dollar they will. And they do.

Although it runs to a predictable three act formula this is a likable film with a few genuine laughs to raise its average along the way. The central pairing are a good match and it doesn’t look like there is 15 years between them - maybe because in reality there are barely nine. Zeta-Jones looks great and certainly fills the sexy older women credentials in her tight tops and black lingerie. Justin Bartha as Aram is a bit wet and his 'too wounded to love' act is a bit annoying, but he works well with the kids and holds his end up pretty well.

The best parts of the film mostly involve the second string with Art Garfunkel doing a great turn as Aram’s inappropriate comment spewing Dad. I also liked the female defence instructor with her un-pc remarks - especially when one woman said ‘but I’m a lesbian’ and she deadpans ‘See me after class’.

As regular movie watchers will testify the path of movie love never runs true and of course hiccups were planted about an hour in. We were never in any doubt that the pair would meet again but Aram’s quest to find himself was a bit barf inducing especially when he was feeding the starving in Africa - can’t he just go out and get drunk with his pals like everyone else.

There were a few edgy laughs and a couple of F-bombs that seemed a bit out of place, almost like they were trying for a ‘15’ certificate to get a more hardcore audience. That’ll work! I did like the date scenes especially the man who went for a dump in a street side cubicle and kept the conversation going before trying to hand feed the Welsh beauty with his unwashed hands. Lovely highbrow stuff always works with me.

If you owe your other half a romantic movie you could do worse than ‘The Rebound’ which has a couple of things to say about relationships but plenty more about going to the toilet and wearing a black bra.


THE Tag Line : Rebound is Mostly Sound 65%