No.95 : The Switch (2010)

The Switch at the IMDb

Poor old Jason Bateman - he does such good work in TV shows such as ‘Arrested Development’ and in movies like ‘Up in the Air’, ‘Extract’ and even ‘Identity Thief’ but sadly, every so often, he has to sign up to stuff like ‘The Switch’ to presumably pay the bills. The film isn’t terrible but it  is so unimaginative and forgettable that you’ll have cleared it from your mental cache as soon as the credits roll.

Bateman plays Wally Mars a likeable but slightly unusual New Yorker who has yet to meet the right woman. He’s no out and out weirdo but wears tank tops and is the choice of transient mentalists when walking the streets of the Big Apple. He is best friends with Jennifer Aniston, although there is no reason given why they are friends and not shagging - he’s not gay you see. They completely bypass the whole ‘When Harry Met Sally’ thing and have the relationship set at ‘platonic’ from the off.

We know he wants more from the relationship as Jennifer is so lovely, but apart from confiding in his boss, Jeff Goldblum, Jason does nothing to seal the deal. Jennifer however is worried that her biological clock is ticking and lines up a sperm donor in the shape of ‘Little Children’ and ‘Watchmen’s Patrick Wilson to supply the population paste.

She throws a tasteless insemination party where the donor and his wife along with a gaggle of friends show up to sell the man fat. Wilson does his duty into a cup but when Bateman finds the sample when he hits the toilet he decides that maybe his man paste is the product of choice. He forgets all in a drunken haze but we are given clues the next day when Goldblum recounts tales of a late night visits that suggests Wally has been generous with his muck.

We flash forward seven years and Aniston has decided to return to town following the birth and raising of her child in Montana. We know that Bateman is the likely daddy and when they meet up the boy’s introspective character certainly suggest he has child support payments in his future. Several unlikely scenarios serve to bring Bateman and the boy closer together but when Aniston reveals she’s started to date the alleged surrogate we have to wonder who is the daddy and who will end up with the frankly needy Jennifer.

This ‘Who’s the Daddy’ rom-com is OK but it is also undemanding and for the most part unfunny. The central relationship between the earnest and likeable Bateman and the flaky and unreliable Aniston is poorly formed and they have no chemistry whatsoever. That said it’s better than that between Wilson and Aniston which is totally devoid of any believability. The idea of a straight man having Jennifer as a best friend was feeble from the off and although they set him up as a tank top wearer it beggared belief that Bateman wouldn’t call her out early on for leading him on.

The first arc that leads up to the insemination was without laughs and not least because of Aniston’s friend, Juliette Lewis who can’t do comedy and who hasn’t had a decent role since ‘Strange Days’ - don’t come it, ‘Starsky & Hutch’ was rubbish!

‘Seven years later’ was a bit better due to the rapport between Bateman and the boy but the whole tacked on relationship with the surrogate seemed forced and unbelievable from the off. The three acts were clearly marked and when Aniston told Bateman she didn’t want to see him again an hour in you knew things were going to work out fine.

Overall there was nothing to offend or greatly dislike in ‘The Switch’ it just seemed a waste to produce something so formulaic and dull given the talent available.

THE Tag Line - More Fun With the Cup
57%

No.91 : The Oranges (2011)

The Oranges at the IMDb

Sorry fruit fans ; the title refers to the street in New Jersey where our characters live and most of the action takes place. Hold on though I’m pretty sure an apple and a banana make some uncredited appearances.

This romantic comedy isn’t demanding in the slightest and is almost more about manners and foibles in general than it is about any of the poorly sketched characters.

Our two principles are played by Hugh Laurie and Oliver Platt. Both are middle aged suburbanites with decaying marriages that they supplement with jogging and a fondness for gadgets. They socialise together with Laurie’s kids being Maybe Bluth off ‘Arrested Development’ and some lightweight drinker who is heading off to a trade mission to China. Platt has one daughter who is a free spirit living abroad with a surfer dude boyfriend.

The family don’t approve when she phones to says she’s engaged to the douche bag but no sooner than she hangs up the phone does she find him hanging out of some slapper. She returns to the family home for thanksgiving and the families are keen to pair her off with the trade delegate son. Alas he can’t hold his booze and when he passes out the strumpet heads over to Hugh’s man cave for some kissing action.

The next day the pair agree it was a mistake but soon end up kissing some more. Their plans are quickly undone when they are spotted by a nosey mother at a motel and they have to decide where to go from here. Hugh’s wife, the virgin deflowerer from ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’ moves out to a B&B and works things through with her choir and goat providing charity. Hugh has some awkward dates with his youthful love and the age gap becomes apparent when you get the usual scenes of ‘uh-oh maybe this wasn’t a good idea’. Speaking of Maybe she busies herself with doing the narration and little else.

Things come to a head over Christmas as the cheating boyfriend and the trade delegate show up leaving us with the quandary of who will end up with whom and whether they are all really happy .

This film could have been subtitles ‘First World Problems’ as a bunch of well to do yuppies bump uglies and work through issues. It was hard to care about any of them, even the wronged wife who just came across as a whiny moaner with a penchant for snowman murder.

Hugh Laurie played his usual self with no empathy on show. There was no obvious reason why he’s tear his life up for a skinnier version of Keira Knightly (if such as thing is possible!) especially as he and the girl had no chemistry whatsoever. Thankfully the bedroom action was kept to our imagination but there were quite a few kisses that went on a bit too long.

Oliver Platt was phoning his part in as the father of the slapper who liked gadgets. He did have some decent scenes but it was unclear why is daughter being a slut was a reason for the rebirth of his soul and libido. There were a couple of laughs with one discussion of Hugh Laurie’s aged balls the best.

I think this was a decent stab at a bit of whimsy with an indie soundtrack attempting to blare out cool credentials that the bouncer refused at the door. The intention may be to examine relationships and morays  but the result was just a lot of middle-aged people moaning a lot while the kids tried their best to keep up.

THE Tag Line - You Need to Work at Your Relationship (Film)
60%